Dementia Discos gave dad an 'opportunity for joy'

When music fan Brian Shaw was diagnosed with dementia at the age of 66, his children were disappointed to find that any music featured in group activities was really suited to an older generation.

Nick Shaw and Kate Darby knew how much the music of the 60s and 70s meant to their father, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in 2016, and so they decided to fill this gap by holding their own events.

"We would take him to dementia groups and they were lovely but they were just all geared up for older people," said Nick.

The Stockport-based siblings joined forces with friend Phil Bostock, whose grandmother was diagnosed with dementia, to launch what has become the Dementia Disco charity.

They first held Dementia Disco events in 2019, with the aim of "using the power of music and dance to bring joy", said Nick.

Their father, who died in November 2022, loved music and even used to hold kitchen discos, he said.

The 47-year-old said it was "really amazing" to see the responses of those coming along to the events.

"We often have people who are quite non-communicative normally and their feet start tapping and their head starts nodding and, before you know it, they'll be getting up on the dance floor and having a good time," he added.

He said they began with one Dementia Disco event and there were now eight running across England.

Nick, who has an 11-year-old son and a seven-year-old daughter, said his mother Jan was also heavily involved with the charity as a volunteer and was really proactive in "getting people up and dancing".

He said research showed music could have a positive impact on people's mental health and the charity's aim was to use music "to inspire memories, conversation, and friendships in and between people living with dementia".

Kate, who has a five-year-old son, said the main ethos of the charity was "changing the narrative of dementia".

The 45-year-old said people diagnosed with the condition "can live well" and they wanted to break the stigma and "give people opportunities for joy - a night out in a safe space for people and their families".

The discos also included fall prevention exercises, she added.

Nick said the discos were free for people with dementia and their families or carers to attend, taking place in the early evening and including a free meal.

"What's great is that because they are held at the weekend and in the early evening people come with their whole families, including their kids and grandkids and it's a bit like a family wedding-type vibe with food and music," he said.

"People chat. We are trying to create a normal night out that they remember from when they were young, with different music as we play requests."

He said the events were also an opportunity for carers to rest while their loved ones attended.

Fellow founder, Phil, said that her grandmother, Margaret was diagnosed with vascular dementia in her early 90s and she consequently lost "the independent, piano playing, jigsaw-loving woman she knew too quickly".

She said losing someone to dementia was losing someone twice, adding that launching Dementia Disco was her way "of creating memories of fun with the person you remember them to be and giving them the chance to be their true selves again".

The association became a charity in 2024 and now has eight groups across England.

Nick has just completed a 24-hour dance-a-thon event, when he danced for 31-miles (50km) between all eight Life Leisure centres in Stockport, raising about £1,700 for the charity.

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