Simon Boas' widow opens up about navigating grief

"The thing with grief is that I never know how I'm going to feel tomorrow, tonight, in three months."

In September 2023, Simon Boas was diagnosed with throat cancer. Aged just 46, he was told the disease was terminal and he died in July 2024 aged 47.

Simon went viral online and wrote a book titled - A Beginner's Guide to Dying which was published posthumously.

His widow, Aurélie Boas, has been continuing her husband's legacy and opened up about her journey with grief.

Aurélie was born and raised in Bordeaux, France, and trained as a journalist in Paris.

She met Simon on her first visit to Palestine when she was 25-years-old.

They met on the first bus out of Tel Aviv airport and Aurelie said she was "struck by Simon because he was very tall and was wearing a Panama hat".

"I didn't have any money to pay ... and because he looked nice and seemed nice, I went to him ... and he gently gave me the money," she said.

"We became housemates two days later and we were married two years later."

The pair moved to Jersey in October 2016.

Aurélie said: "I didn't know that he was running tests and was expecting actually a biopsy results ... I guess he wanted to protect me.

"The news for me was even more brutal in the sense that I didn't even know that there were worries at all."

She said after the cancer diagnosis the future meant a whole different thing.

"You don't have a long-term vision ... you feel so paralysed."

Aurélie said they were "quite optimistic" and "I don't remember really believing that he could die".

She said: "I remember feeling very active and full of energy, a bit like we're going to beat that thing together.

"Very hard to imagine death at that stage, even when you hear the news that it's terminal ... because you don't know how long it's going to take.

"Will it leave six months, a year, 18 months?"

She said the community in Jersey had been so strong and supportive which has been "vital" for her.

She added: "I feel very much held by people around me in a in a very magical way."

"The one thing that I think I've learned the most, being forced by circumstances, is that suddenly you can't do everything on your own," she said.

"There is a limit to how much one can cope with everything."

Aurélie added grief was a lonely experience to have and while she could not do it without people supporting her, she also needed to find moments for herself because "ultimately it's happening to me."

She said: "I notice that if I resist grief ... then it comes back even stronger.

"I now want and try to grieve on my own terms."

"I never asked to be a widow at 41 but it just happened to me."

Aurélie said the book to her was a "wonderful legacy".

"It's a piece of Simon, I then feel a strong responsibility to carry it on and and do things ...even if sometimes it feels quite heavy."

She said there were some projects in the works hoping to carry on her husbands legacy.

"The biggest one at the minute is a non-fiction film that is being produced and scripted by three filmmakers, including one in Jersey," she said.

She added: "They are planning a documentary about the book and they secured the rights to the audio book, which Simon recorded before he died.

"So it's Simon's voice on the documentary and they're using animation to animate Simon and us and our lives."

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