'Talking about losing a parent by suicide is taboo'

A man whose father died by suicide when he was a teenager has swum the English Channel twice this year to fundraise for a space where people can open up and talk.

Max Ashken, from Harleston, Norfolk, said his dad Peter had struggled with prolonged mental health issues before his death in 2022.

"It is hard to talk about - it's uncomfortable, it's taboo; a lot of people who go through it, and kids that have lost a parent, sometimes don't tell anyone," he said.

The 22-year-old, who went to school in Woodbridge in Suffolk, has been raising money for the charity Mind and said focusing on his training and taking part in the extreme challenges helped him "grow as a person".

The avid swimmer, who is also training to be a lawyer, took 10 hours and 23 minutes to swim the English Channel on Wednesday.

But the first time he took the plunge was with his friend Nick Skelton in July.

The pair ended up breaking a world record for the fastest two-man swim of the 21-mile (34 km) Channel.

"It's quite strange looking back on it now; it feels like quite a blur because it was 10 hours in the water, but actually it now feels like it went by so quickly," he added.

According to Mind, one in four people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England.

Women are more likely to have suicidal thoughts and to make suicide attempts than men, but men are three times more likely to take their own lives than women.

Ashken took part in the challenges to give back to Mind, which helped his mother cope with grief, as well as offering practical advice after his father's death, he said.

"They were really there for her, and I'm very grateful for that," he said.

"As a young person, going through losing a parent at a young age, it affects every area of your life, your confidence, just like finding your path.

"Having something like this to focus on and train towards, I had to put myself out there; I had to meet new people, and by doing all of that, you just inevitably grow as a person.

"I can't imagine not talking about it, so I think just opening up a space that might encourage someone to talk about it is something that I wanted to do."

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