BOTH: Hi.
ROMEO: I’m Romeo.
JULIET: And I’m Juliet.
ROMEO: And we have been together for…
BOTH: Three hours.
JULIET: And we’re gonna be doing Couple’s Quiz. Eee!
ROMEO: Okay, what a funny quill.
QUIZ VOICE: Who said ‘I love you’ first?
ROMEO: Hmm.
JULIET: Ooh. Okay.
ROMEO: Well, we haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet, or at least not in those words. I said, ‘It is my love.’
JULIET: ‘It’? Okay, I don’t love ‘it.’ No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
ROMEO: Also, I called you ‘the sun.’ Metaphorically, you are the sun, which I love, by the way. Also, I said, ‘Her eyes were two of the fairest stars in all the heaven.’
JULIET: Aww, isn’t he so sweet?
ROMEO: I love you.
JULIET: I love you.
BOTH: I love you.
ROMEO: My favourite bit about this is just…
JULIET: You.
ROMEO: Yeah.
JULIET: Ah!
VOICE: What is Romeo’s surname?
JULIET: Ooh. Okay, toughie. Okay. Um…
ROMEO: I know it.
JULIET: Yeah, of course you do. Um… do I know this?
ROMEO: You know it.
JULIET: Do I know this?
ROMEO: I think you know it.
JULIET: I don’t think I do.
ROMEO: I did call you ‘good pilgrim’ that one time, yeah?
JULIET: I don’t know if it’s right, but… pilgrim?
ROMEO: Montague.
JULIET: Oh, Montague. Of course.
ROMEO: Montague.
JULIET: Montague.
ROMEO: Yeah.
JULIET: Montague.
ROMEO: Is that okay?
JULIET: Like…
ROMEO: Yeah, Montague. Is it a problem?
JULIET: I mean, my only love sprung from my only hate.
ROMEO: Oh yeah, our families do kind of low-key have beef… like generational.
JULIET: But then again, what’s Montague?
ROMEO: It’s my surname.
JULIET: No, no, no, no. I mean like, what’s in a name?
ROMEO: Letters.
JULIET: No, babe, what does it mean, really? I mean, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
ROMEO: She is very bright.
JULIET: Eee! Isn’t she?
ROMEO: Like the sun!
JULIET: Thank you. You’ll need to explain that to me later.
ROMEO: I will. But I love the sounds.
QUIZ VOICE: What is Juliet’s love language?
ROMEO: Oh…mm…Okay.
BOTH: Ready? Via Friar.
JULIET: Uh, but crucially not a reliable one.
ROMEO: Yeah, you can trust a friar, but they’re not always punctual.
JULIET: Mm-mm. Like if it’s an urgent, probably ill-fated message…
ROMEO: You’re looking at three to five working days.
JULIET: And that’s literally like a lifetime for us.
QUIZ VOICE: Juliet, you call Romeo ‘Him that is renowned for faith.’ Who did Romeo call ‘the devout religion of mine eye’?
JULIET: Okay. Easy.
ROMEO: Easy. Yeah, we’ve got this.
JULIET: Make it harder.
ROMEO: Yeah.
BOTH: Three, two, one. Ah!
ROMEO: We are so in sync.
JULIET: We are so in sync.
QUIZ VOICE: Actually, Romeo, you were talking about Rosaline.
ROMEO: Who?
QUIZ VOICE: The girl you were in love with before Juliet. Rosaline.
ROMEO: I have forgot that name.
JULIET: Rosaline? My cousin Rosaline?
ROMEO: Oh. Yes. Your cousin. No, I… no, I do remember. I was in love with her, yeah. But that was like three hours ago. It’s ancient history. Like, babe, I swear by the moon.
JULIET: The moon? The inconstant moon?
ROMEO: Well, what shall I swear by?
JULIET: Do not swear at all.
BOTH: Oh. Our first fight.
JULIET: Aww.
QUIZ VOICE: Is this moving too fast?
JULIET: Too fast? We just got married!
ROMEO: Yay!
JULIET: Wait, what’s the question?
ROMEO: Yeah, they’re asking if it’s moving too fast.
JULIET: Love’s heralds should be thoughts, which ten times faster glide than the sun’s beams.
JULIET: AKA… love is fast.
ROMEO: It is, my love.
JULIET: Okay, can we not do the ‘it’ thing though, please?
ROMEO: No, it’s like the sun.
JULIET: I just don’t love it.
ROMEO: It’s like the sun.
QUIZ VOICE: Do you think this is going to end badly?
ROMEO: Mm, what makes you say that?
FRIAR: I mean, we’re all talking about it, to be fair. Like, just a few examples. ‘A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life.’ ‘Death-mark’d love.’ ‘With their death bury their parents’ strife.’ I mean, this is literally on page one.
ROMEO: You know what I say to that? Love-devouring death do what he dare.
FRIAR: Yeah, this is exactly what we’re talking about.
ROMEO: I defy you stars!
FRIAR: Are we hearing ourself? This is why we think you’re doomed.
JULIET: What, like when I said, ‘My grave is like to be my wedding bed’?
ROMEO: That’s just a figure of speech.
JULIET: Yeah, just a figure of speech.
ROMEO: Yeah. Like, ‘Come, death and welcome, Juliet wills it so.’ It’s classic love stuff.
QUIZ VOICE: Have you guys ever heard of foreshadowing?
BOTH: No.
JULIET: Like I said, we’re not worried.
ROMEO: Yeah, we’re just seeing where it goes really.
JULIET: I do kind of keep having this quite violent vision of you as one dead at the bottom of a tomb though.
ROMEO: Huh.
JULIET: Yeah.
ROMEO: Classic love stuff.
JULIET: Yeah.
ROMEO: Like when I dreamt that my lady came and found me dead.
JULIET: What, Rosaline?
ROMEO: Oh, that was literally three hours ago, she didn’t even like me back. I knew you wouldn’t let this go.
JULIET: You know me so well.
ROMEO: Mm.
JULIET: Eee!
ROMEO: So, what’s your surname?
Description
Young Shakespearean lovebirds Romeo and Juliet take a quiz to test their love in this social media parody.
Find out more about GCSE English Literature.
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