Light Relief

Hunter
People complaining about the Finance industry, whilst conveniently ignoring the fact that it contributes far more to Jersey's tax coffers and international reputation than anything else. If you don't like it, don't work in it but PLEASE don't bash it - it adds so much to Jersey, and not just to those who work in it.

crp47
What gets my "gander up" is people who write in to these forums and miispell words.

Stephen Le Q
1. Rubbish!!! it is everywhere and sums up how lazy we have all gotten!

2. An over focus and dependency on the finance industry!!! there is more to life than just money.

Jersey can be so great yet so frustrating at the same time, if only people cared about the environment more.

Doing my bit
The really big shops and forecourts that I visited today along the Queens Road that wouldn't allow me to put up a fundraising poster in their oversized windows. (Thank you to all the smaller retailers that did put up the posters).

Alan Partridge with driving gloves at the ready
when you are driving along a road with a car infront of who's driver incessantly BREAKS EVERYTIME a car approaches on the OTHER-SIDE of the ROAD. Damn it I've just run over my goat, but it was a good release. These people should be banned from the road for GOOD!

Mr Rain
I hate it when you're walking along a pavement in the rain, and some oaf decides to take cover and the WHOLE of the pavement with his oversized Golf Umbrella. The next person who I come across with a golf parasol in hand will hear a cry of "Four" before getting a clout round the ear from me.

ZM
1. people harking on about how Polish/Portuguese are taking jobs. (if you want a job apply for it!!, would you work on a farm for 10 hours a day for £5.50 an hour????) they contribute to the island just as much as rich bankers!!

2. people complaining about Jersey, its by no means perfect but a hell of a lot better than almost everywhere else in Europe at the moment.

3. people complaining about GST, its probably the only thing that is going to get us through the recession!!

4. money, people who think its all in life gets me sooo annoyed

Rob
Poor understanding of when to use an apostrophe really grinds my gears.

H Horse
Rubbish thrown all over the roads, hedges, fields. Jersey is looking like a third world country. Hopefully with the recession people will leave and there will be less rubbish everywhere. PICK IT UP - or do not throw it out of your car window

BB
Allan, I agree with you, same should go for driving with the just the PARKING lights on! Do people just not know what lights to use when?

Min Surtees
What annoys me most is having to return to England after my trips to Jersey. Flew back here last night after ten days on the island - believe me, absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder. England has gone to Hell on a handcart - cherish your island, and start a fund to move me there :)

Allan
Driving with front fog lamps on in anything other than severe fog (

BB
Why do Jersey drivers seem to be afraid to put their lights on in the mornings and early evenings when visability is reduced. People trying to get out from side roads (often having to use road mirrors) can't see you! Please, please put them on! We need a road safety campaign to remind people how to drive.

James
Internet forums like this...

andrew
Homeloans for first time buyers. Can someone explain how the change is a benefit? You are either a first time buyer or not - call it share transfer or flying freehold. To me the new rules look like a way of moving up the property ladder a 35% more expensive house for the same price. Dandara must have their fingers somewhere.

Jersey Gal
I would get on a boat in the morning if i could afford condor prices!!!

Billy
Sheep

odian samson
this business of loans for people to get onto the property ladder gets to me because you should not be looking to make money from a house etc but it should be your home for life to be able to get a loan!

Mr Cyclist in the sunshine
Cycling is most enjoyable in the pleasant sunshine but what spoils it is the terrible state of some of the roads. The pot holes, uneven surfaces and bad tempered car drivers are annoying, yes before you say it fellow cyclists who ignore road signs and think they have priority also wind me up, but going back to potholes can all drivers and cyclists who think they know where the worst ones are can they put it on here and perhaps someone in authority from TTS (Mr De Faye) will get them repaired the worst one i have come accross on a major road is on Victoria Avenue / Gloucester Street traffic lights area on the East bound center lane just past the lights heading towards the tunnel its about 2 ft deep, its a real danger for motor cyclists.

John
Light-weight women in pubs who think they can handle drink...

Hunter Stockton
What gets my goat? Idiots who seem to have nothing better to do than to complain about this wonderful island we live in.

Day after day we see letters in the local gazette slamming politicians for corruption and laziness and generally making loud noises about nothing. What happens when it comes around to election time? Right. We elect none of the loud-mouthed critical rabble and more of the career politician/long term business/judiciary types. People criticising the GST situation. Why? Have you really noticed the increase? I know that I sure as heck haven't and I know that I would rather pay an extra 3% to secure the financial future of the island than see capital borrowing by the Government for short-term political gain whilst mortgaging the future of the island.

I see all these people complaining about single-minded biggoted Jersey folk, and how we ALL seem to be that way if we were born here. I'm a Jerseyman and I'm pretty darned happy with this island. We pay less income tax, we have a better social welfare network, we have a better healthcare system, a better Education system, less goods tax, less unemployment, a higher average wage and a higher standard of living than our UK counterparts. We also have a government with no capital debt and that serve us for a fraction of the UK government costs - over £60k per annum plus "office costs" of between £100-150k plus expenses including travel and living. Jersey is an incredible place to live, yet so many of its residents seem to be so incredibly dissatisfied. That's what gets my goat.

attenborough
Hello again Dear-sh Readers; While having my late Great Grand Father remind me of my last harrowing tale of goat getting experiences on the Island, he begged me to also remember the time when our little Island was yet again, invaded by the dreaded Hun! I know that most of you are sitting glued to your computers and saying either to yourself or to those that you have invited to read my golden words. "What's that? We were invaded by the dirty Hun, again?"Perhaps not the entire German nation, but rather a smaller part of it. OK, it were only three. But let them get purchase of six feet, and there is no telling where it will led! I can however, tell you were it did led. Namely, to The Cliff Top Paradise. Ex- Beloved home to my good self and close family members. I will do my best to take you back to that dreaded day, that one thinks was somewhere in the year of our Lord... Let us just leave it that it was some time ago. I, as you may or may not remember, was still a young and energetic child with dreams of becoming one of Jersey’s best and most beloved ' Goat Fetchers'.While sitting in the glass room atop the ' Cliff Top Paradise ' and regarding my Great Grand Father who was then still alive and kicking. (Well, not so much kicking, as shuffling his feet backwards and forwards in a sort of menacing fashion as I sat wondered when he was going to depart this world and leave some of his best goat getting gear to your hero. When suddenly, my sainted Mummy came running into the room screaming that we were under siege by persons unknown. With these words, my attention was taken away from my Great Grand Fathers fascinating demonstration of a rather interesting 1896 goat trap that was all the more fascinating, due to the fact that it had rather nasty, let alone sharp, metal teeth that would surely get the attention of even the most aggressive of the islands veracious goat population. To say nothing of the fact that he was going to put my tiny arm in it. Looking up at my dear Mummy with fear and apprehension, imploring her with my steely brownish green eyes to tell more. She the mean while, was giving me the once over with a look that I knew to mean trouble for your hero. "What, in the name God, is that on your chin?!" She demanded. Being ever so slightly taken aback with this sudden change in mood and topic, I placed my smooth young hand to my chin wondering what she was on about. The recollection of Great Grand Father’s enormous artistic abilities came back to me in a flash. Before I could enlighten Mummy in this query, a sudden move from my Great Grand Father diverted my attention. He lent backwards and dropped the indelible marker that he had used earlier, it into a convenient potted plant. My attention was suddenly redirected back to my Mummy, by the fact that she threw some of her Scotch at me and said. "Oy, I asked you a question, Fat Ears! " I inwardly cringed at this reminder of one of my physical abnormalities. "You promised me that you would never, never, mention that again Mummy!" I half spoke and half cried. "Never mind all that. What’s that black stuff on your face?" She indicated with the stub of her cigar. "Oh that !" I said cheerily. "Great Grand Father drew it for me so that one could look more like a goat when we’re off on one of our goat getting forays. He has informed me that all the truly great Goat Fetchers, have goatees!" I looked adoringly over at Great Grand Father who was now looking sheepishly up at Mummy. Then, there began a strange noise. It was more in the way of a low rubble, I would have to say then anything else. The glass windows in the room seemed to shudder then shrink away as the sound grew louder. "WHAT - IS - WRONG -WITH - YOU !" Mummy screamed at Great Grand Father. My Great Grand Father looked at her blankly with his feeble eyes as he raised a feeble hand to his equally feeble ear, saying. "What's that my dear?" Adding an even feebler little smile for good measure.I suspect that his reasoning for using all these feebalities, (

moving away
I sold my house the other day with 100% profit, am moving to France in my new house with loads of dosh to spend, Thanks to the states loan, You Jersey beens are all mugs letting me in the Island, giving me benefits and states loans...I´m laughing all the way to the bank....

mr b
the more i look at this site the more dissapointed i become with biggot narrow minded jersey people, over the immergration issue when are they going to understand that this island is not the backward place it used to be it is now a thriving multicultual place just look at the fact that only 3% of locals speak jarriais and i bet 90% of them are over 80 the simple fact is this island wouled be left in the dark ages if it wasnt for incomers

mr b
im sick of jersey people going on about how there island has been taken over by incomers.the truth of the matter is if it wasnt for us this place wouled still be surviving on the spud industry alone.over half of the finance industry employers are from england and around the rest of europe so you shouled greatfull of incomers to the island.If every one that was not jersey left the place wouled just stop so open your minds jersey people

Claire
1)GST....we do not need it, i am a student and jersey is too expensive as it is! i mean why to at least reduce the price add the 3% in the till if it 'has' to come in...rather then the 3% ON EVERY ITEM...CRAZY!2)the chief minister...Maybe the states just want to reduce tourism numbers???

parker
Michelle, Surely if the person who usually parks in the first space they see moved on to another space further along, the traffic would still be held up.

not polish
Why are so many of you good for nothings bleating on about the Polish people?There are lots of nationalities of workers in Jersey doing all types of work. As an example, what proportion of employees in the finance industry do you think are actually from Jersey? I agree with other comments though, this is a hole of a place and I for one can't wait to leave - especially in light of the child abuse scandal thats rocking the island at the moment. Cover-ups can only stay in place for so long. Good luck everyone in Jersey, you will need it!

Environment tax spin/con
Although I applaud taxing polluters are cars being singled out by Terry Le Sueur and boat owners left alone. Boat petrol is around half the price of road fuel - so why not raise an environmental tax on it? We subsidise their marinas and the overspends, we allow them exclusive free parking spaces on the harbours.It is time the rich contributed to Terry's black hole he keeps digging.People rely on cars, and boats are a luxury.Hedley for Senator!

sall
why did only over 70s get the vouchers when they get so much more why not give it to underprivaliged children or low income familes?

Norton
Why don't the states look at how much money is being sent out of the island by immigrant workers. In some countries this wouldn't be allowed due to the effect on the economy. We are being encouraged to use Jersey currency so why not ensure the money stays in the island for the benefit of all.

St helier
The states screwing us over. as usual GST is bloody rubbish and prices are going up before its even added on!

Barrie Gordon
Why, Why, don't you have up to date infor and video streaming on your news sits. The fire last night is a good example. Channel had it on thier site today, you haven't why? You are a public service paid for out of public funds so you should have better if not the same coverage on your site.

St John eh
Rubbish - thrown in all our hedges and roads. In recent times people seem to treat the island as a rubbish dump. Carrier bags, bottles, lager cans, etc strewn all over the place. This has got a lot worse in the past few years since the population expanded our of control. Take it home with you do not throw it out of your car window!

Disgruntled.
To those that are complaining about 'foreigners' coming in to 'take our jobs', firstly would any of you work 6 days a week, split shifts for £5.40 an hour? Thought not. As for them taking all the jobs, I work in the hospitality industry and over the past few months there has been NOBODY looking for work, Jersey, Polish, Portugese, Irish or otherwise. Gastarbeiter and Peter are quite right, if it wasn't for people coming into the island to work the economy would collapse since few of you Jersey folk seem to want to lower yourselves to menial work. And as for Emz, is it any wonder you can't find work? You appear to have little no grasp of spelling and grammar, maybe you should look at yourself first rather than passing the blame. I believe your gripe should be aimed at the States rather than the workers themselves. If there was a country I could go to freely and earn 4 or 5 times my current wage for the same job I'm damn sure I would and a lot of others with me.

Saz
Its true that polish workers take jobs Jersey residents could do. My partner was looking for a job last year to support me and our daughter and most unskilled jobs he went for were then given to polish migrant workers because they were cheaper and work more hours. Its disgraceful. Surely Jersey should take care of its own first!

Rob Kent
The comments about immigrants taking 'locals' jobs are hardly worth reflecting on, since they have been repeated throughout history all over the world. No economy has a constant supply and demand for labour, consequently, periods of high demand have to be satisfied by migrant labour. When the demand shrinks again, the locals want them to go away. Gratitude?During the Eighties in Jersey I can remember a farmer being successfully prosecuted for keeping his Portuguese farmworkers like pigs, housing them in tin huts with mud floors. I don't recall local people lamenting that they were the ones who should be living like pigs and working for low pay in the fields. The truth is, we are all migrants or the children of migrants. The only people who could justifiably claim to be living in the same place as their ancestors are somewhere in central Africa.Economic migrants tend to be the most ambitious and industrious go-getters in their society, which is why other people like to employ them. Ambitious and industrious people tend not to sit around bitching about other people, which is maybe they are resented by the ones who do.

Jersey is dead
I’m really upset for the actor who plays Davros,the creator of the Daleks, in Dr Who.He will be out of a job as Terry Le Sueur has the impression down to a t’!

Emz
Peter If you look around now theres far too many of them over here taking ova properties schol etc, and most of the labouring jobs have gone my partner is out of work because of the polish labourers because they are far cheaper to employ so leaving us out of work, so no not all of them work in Hotels.

Kevin
It's understandable why people stand up for immigrant workers as they do contribute a lot to the island and many do jobs that a lot of us wouldn't do. However, just because a lot of us wouldn't do them, doesn't mean that ALL of us wouldn't, which is why it's also understandable that many locals complain about immigrants taking up a lot of jobs because at the end of the day, I am sure there are many locals who would do those jobs and actually do need them so I don't think it's fair to criticize them for complaining. However, is it fair to stop people who have moved home to provide themselves with greater opportunities in life? After all, if my Portuguese father didn't move to the UK, then I would not be Jersey born and I wouldn't be where I am today...just graduated from uni and in a well paid job. And yes, I have moved back to Jersey and yes, I do contribute to society. There is good and bad in everyone, their nationality does not determine whether they are good for society or not.

Peter
Emz - is there something wrong with you? I appreciate that Polish people need to learn english before they start working, but 'taking all our jobs'? What job market are you looking at? The majority of the job market which Polish people currently reside in are the hotel, agriculture or cleaning industry - most of the jobs which British people don't want to do. Stop being so naive and understanding that foreign work is extremely beneficial to any economy and indeed the economy of the Island.

Emz
Too many Polish over here now taking all the jobs leaving us Jersey people with no work having kids likes theres no tommorow and settling in our island and non English speaking Polish barmaids, i went to a pub one night, tried ordering a drink the polish girl didnt understand what i ordered, she called another girl over who had to translate what i ordered into her language, i was surprised she had a job she didnt speak a word of English.

Harps
One word RENT, How much? I want to get on the property ladder, I have more chance in going to heaven!

Clare
Why cant we just have some pubs that allow smoking, and some not, easy, then everyone is happy!! people wanted smokers out of the pub, now they moan smokers take up the al fresco!! hello world, half an half? simple

craupaud-not-at home
Moaners in jersey they thought they were on to a good thing when the all came over in the eighties and nineties, cheap booze, cheap fags, rent rebates, money coming out of the islands ears, now when things are getting tight and GSD has to come because like everywhere in the world, money is tight and the islands government can´t wont be taken for mugs anymore, what dose all the immigrants from the slums of London. Glasgow, Edinburgh, Birmingham, Belfast, Londonderry do? They start winging and complaining about GST well, people I got news for you, three percent is a lot different from nineteen percent, If you dont like it, the go somewhere where you can live better than you can in the Island of ours that you have over the years run down, go home and leave us in peace.

jerseyisdead
GST - Forgone conclusion!What uncle Frank wants he gets!Roll on the election!

Jadzy
give the guys a break this isnt the only have your say. As for annoying, try the kids from OTHER estates breaking teh lifts at La Collette for the fun of it when some of us need those lifts >.

Sy
I think its disgusting that GST is going to be brought in, i mean food supermarkets are expensive as it is without GST on top, there is no competition in the island there are no big supermarkets like tesco sainsbury, so for us less wealthy ppl we are going to be ripped off yet again by state members. I mean what are they going to build next and then decide to rip it down just like what they are doing with the waterfront, what a waste of the publics money. The States dont care about the public if they did they would listen to us what the ppl want instead of making there way up the ladder and having a good salary.

Bad tempered Bull in a china shop
Yes Rude bad mannared Portuguese waiters annoy me and yet are happy to come over here and take our jobs

Troy
I don't expect you to check every day, That would be too much to ask, But every couple of months????

Ryan (Host)
Troy - the BBC Jersey team is a VERY small one -there are just two of us so we have to prioritise.

As all comments have to be checked before they can be published we only check the stories on the homepage or one of the main indexes on a daily basis.

We don't have time to check every article every day - it would take half the day.

Unless a comment is libellous or offensive we publish it.

Troy
This comments site gets my goat, it has´t been updated for ages, or is it censorship?

Tinsel
Is there anyone on the Island who has a good thing to say about the staff in the furniture department of Co-op Homemaker? Why is it every time I deal with them (and I would go elsewhere is there was any kind of alternative) they are rude, couldn't care less and seem to have a genuine dislike of customers? I wondered if it was just me, but you only have to stand by the till for 5 minutes to see how they treat all customers both in front of them and on the phone. Is there anyone at Co-op that's bothered by this?

Jerseyisdead!
Liberation Station, for the Nation, leading to Frustration.

Carolyn
Mike Vibert - what is the point of Mike Vibert?

Nick
"Robert is quite correct, people who com to live on our island, and complain all the time, boat in the morning."Do they also complain about a lack of English skills?

Harry
What are the chances of any of the current council of ministers being re elected ? Except of course Stuart Syvret, the most popular politician for many years who is going to be sacked by least popular politician for many years.

mazaki
Narrow minded Jersey people who think they own the island.

me
leaving perfectly valid comments on here a couple of months ago that were ignored and not published.

Gastarbeiter
Yes indeed, crapaud, there's a boat in the morning. Do you think that would exist, or shops, or restaurants, or a health service, or schools, if immigrants said they'd had enough of the constant sniping, and left?

Barry
Senator's telling us to move to England to buy property if we can't afford something here. Do you not know how expensive southern England has become?! If you're going to be condecending at least give a good example of a cheaper place to live, like say New Zealand!

craupaud
R.Bara on phone in.when he interrupts someone who is trying to say something..Not everyone is used to speaking on the radio, roger, let them say what they want to say...

craupaud-not- at--home
Robert is quite correct, people who com to live on our island, and complain all the time, boat in the morning

Fluffy Dai
People who belittle the ancient and noble calling of goat-fetcher.

Jerry
People who were never taught that you let people out of a shop before you push your way in. People who sit in their cars, hooting, because they can't be bothered to get out and press a doorbell. People who leave their takeaway cartons and beer cans all over town. And the same six people who ring the phone-in every day with the same moans every day.

Jan
Why oh why is the volume during the showing of adverts so much louder than the programme? It infuriates me!

Genuine Jersey
Just a thought GST (Great Stupid Tax) when you buy petrol, alcohol and tobacco you will be paying tax on a tax!!Jersey the island for A1 finance people and poorly paid immigrants.

Gets my goat
When people leave chewing gum in ashtrays - gross. Or when I step on chewing gum! Put it in the bin!!!!

bex
Frank Walker!!

Tony
The total lack of FREE Modern sports facilities: Skateboard parks which would also double as Youth hang out! and help to keep the young persons away from the Weighbridge Drink and Drugs

Jersey Joe
Why do we put up with paying extortionate line and internet and mobile phone charges here,I have to pay over £40 per month before I have even made a call. When are the Regulators going to tackle this.

Captain Fantastic
Not sure how the Environment Department can say they are doing everything they can about foot and mouth precautions as when I visited the Ecrehous this weekend the French visitors were walking their dogs along the reef surely a very questionable practice. Over and out

Steven Hogan
Teenagers that say "whatever" while eating Chips and cheese is ubearable. Any one else agree?

Deborah Luce
I'm due to pay the T.V Licence fee, but find it galling and insulting that we have to pay so much when the behaviour of the BBC by recent news is so undesireable and also we in Jersey are unable to receive full services.Pensioners receive help in the Uk but not in Jersey yet the BBC is funded by us - the Public.The only saving grace is the professionalism and entertainment from Roger Bara, John Uphoff and Rachel Foley daily. Thanks to them.

BB
So it's Robert who own the island . . . I did wonder!

Mike
Grumpy old people trying to change the world. They should recognise they're miserable and being picky - and try to stop themselves ruining the place for the rest of us. Drinking in public, and 30mph in the whole parish of St.C spring to mind.

Dave
Hi Ryan. Thanks for your response and for passing the suggestion on.

Ryan (Host)
Dave - unfortunately the Have Your Say system we use is a VERY simple one that isn't built to do anything beyond just putting comments on a page.

We have the ability to set it to display most recent comments at the top/bottom through our admin site but that can't be done by the user.

We can also change how the comment is displayed - so instead of name and comments it could be comments and then name - or we could put the date the comment was submitted on as well.

But so far we've decided to keep things as simple as possible.

I will send your suggestion of allowing users to change the order of comments to our developers though.

Thanks

Dave
The fact that the BBC 'Have Your Say' comments are posted with the most recent first, and as people often respond to other people's comments you have to go scrolling down to find them.... Can you maybe have a feature that swaps the order according to your preference (a common feature on many programs)?

By the way Joe Wetherbee.The most common story to explain the phrase 'get my goat' relates to horse racing in North America and to the common practice of putting a goat in the stall with a skittish thoroughbred racehorse to help calm it. Enterprising villains capitalised on this by gambling on the horse to lose and then stealing the goat.SEE WHAT I MEAN!

Harold Macmillan
People banging on about having to pay 'high' personal income tax at 20%. Unbelievable. If you were in the UK you'd be paying 40% on earnings over £35,000 and 20% on pretty much everything below. Plus you pay loads more national insurance etc in the UK. Or you could try Ireland where you're taxed even more! AND you don't get anywhere near the level of quality of health service that you do here. I know where I'm better off living! Stop moaning - you may not have 'never had it so good' but it's still a damn sight better than the UK/Ireland/rest of the world! (and I've not even mentioned France....!)

Robert
People who come to live in my island, and complain about everything, boats in the morning come to mind....

Brian Hotton
John Uphoff on BBC Radio Jersey should not have 'cut a caller short' (Emile) today Monday 25 June.I do enjoy John's banter on the morning show, however the Phone In is for the people that phone in and not the presenter.Could you imagine this happening if it was a politician that was cut short?John's boss should put him straight.

June Beslievre
It drives me mad when people say go to our website WWW.What does the word website stand for? Answer: World Wide Web.What does WWW. stand for? Answer: World Wide WebSo why do people in the spoken media still insist on saying go the world wide web, world wide web twice over.If someone is so brainless they don't know what it means when you say 'Go to our website' then they can't work a computer.In any case you don't need WWW. you just put the website name in Google and you've got it in seconds.So, please stop saying the dreaded WWW.Thanks,June

Yosser
As an society, Jersey is wealthy. Lets not deny that. However, if you want to work in finance, where the BIG money and some would say, the only money is, then you need qualifications or experience. Thats valid and works everywhere else. But here in Jersey, there is no such thing as retraining for Jersey people who want to get out of retail or come back with life skills gained outside the island. Is there a minister for employment? No. We have economic development with no development of our people. The States seem happier to allow a growing number people to move here than put a coherent plan in action to let indigenous workers take up these jobs.Is there a hidden agenda here?

A Jersey Bean
AAARRGG..!!! It's mid-summer and i'm pregnant! It's too flaming hot to do anything, I can't eat soft cheese, pate, cured meats, whippy ice-creams, soft boiled eggs, nothing tasty!!Bring on Autumn - woohoo!!I HATE SUMMER TIME!But i'm going to have a baaaaaby!! :o)

DOT
Jersey drivers who think indicators are an optional extra, (especially at roundabouts) and don't use their lights in reduced visibility. When you depend on a road mirror to get out of a side entrance and it's raining, we can't see you if you don't have your lights on! Anyone who learns to drive here should have to do another test on mainland to learn to drive properly!

Dillon
Intolerant people called Tom

Hotel Inspector
Hotels in Jersey which are 2 or 3 suns classified and cost a lot and are usually not very good value for money or worth staying at

JerseyGirl
The States of Jersey! Don't get me started!

Attenborough
I know just what you poor folk are talking about! You see dear readers (Well your not really 'dear readers', because I really don't know any of you. But never mind all that just now. Let's see, where was I? Oh,right! Well...I come from a long line of , Goat Fetchers. I bet you didn't know that that was a real profession, now did you? Well that it be.

I remember my first goat fetching incounter when I was but a lad. My great grand father and I were out and about in Grouville which is just about 12 mile from my ancestral home, when all of a sudden my Great Grand father grabs me by my little arm and points to a field and come's to a dead halt. I can tell you now that I were terrifed!

I looked up at great grand father with all his goat getting paraphernalia and the morning sun shining over his strong but effeminate shoulders and asked what were wrong.

He turned his head down towards my young face and looked hard at me except for his lazy eye that seemed to be wondering to and fro. "Lad" He said. after making some goat sounds. "That there be a goat!" I took a step backwards but the long line of goat fetching blood in my vains were already starting to boil.

The smell of goat was thick in the air and my young mind thrilled to the thought of the chase! "Now lad I want you to get that goat. Here, take some of my goat getting stuff." I looked from him to the goat and back again. "You want me to get that goat?" I asked with the tention building in the air as I have already said. "Yes lad, I want you to get the goat." He said. "But don't you, normally get peoples goat?" I asked with the innocence that only a novice goat gettter can. "Are you getting my goat?" My great grand Father said a little peevishly I thought. "Now by that do you mean am I "Getting your goat" or am I getting that goat what be over there?"

Well dearish reader, that conversation went on like that for some time but in the end I never did really get his goat because as it turned out in the end, I was the black sheep of the family.

Paula
It makes me so angry that the taxi drivers are trying to justify their ridiculous prices by comparing us to London! We would be better off in London! where the 'Black cabs' meter starts ticking at £1.40, and rises by 20p with every 219 meters traveled. Also there are Minicabs....they do not have meters, they charge by the mile and prices vary between £1 - £1.50 per mile.

There is no way they cost anywhere near what they cost in Jersey. In fact I have never paid more for a cab ANYWHERE else in the world including London, New York, Toronto, Singapore, Amsterdam, Paris, Greece. HOW CAN THEY DEFEND THERE PRICES??!!

Joe wetherbee
were did the saying you get my goat come from??

Mandy
Jersey people, after moving to Guernsey "the better island" I can see how all of you truly suck

Tom
1)People writing enormously long sentences in capital letters with no punctuation. 2)Hippies. 3)The power hungry honorary police. 4)Politicians. 5)Guernsey. 6)Chavs(thank you Ryan.) 7)That 20mph zone in St. Peter. I'll think of some more

CHAMONE
"YOUR ABSOLUTLY RIGHT BROOMSTICKER,I BUY MARKS AND SPARKS PANTS AND HAVE UNWANTED AIR CONDITIONING WITHIN WEEKS,I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME AND HAVE GOT THROUGH FOUR PAIRS IN MONTHS SHOULD HAVE GONE BACK TO THE SHOP BUT THERE WASN,T ENOUGH EXPOSURE.

SIMONE WEARNE
I AM ALWAYS SUBMITTING MY VIEWS IF ANYONES INTERESTED IN WHAT I HAVE TO SAY THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT IRRITATE ME BAD MANNERS AND RUDENESS AND SMOKING BULLYING AND WARS WE SHOULD ALL LEARN TO GET ON BETTER WITH ONE ANOTHER AND NOT GO TO WAR AND HAVE BETTER MANNERS TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND UNDERSTAND THINGS FROM OTHER PEOPLES POINTS OF VIEW

Michelle
People who park their cars in the first space they see holding back a queue of cars when there are plenty of spaces further along

Mr. Jones
People named Smith who congratulate one another tend to be irritating. Strange, I had not noticed this before.

BOOM-SHACKA
Marks and spencers jeans!!! they annoy me the backside of the jeans wears out in weeks while the rest of the trouser is new it,s crazy!!! If anyone from Marks is reading this please sort out the quality as a) winters coming and b) i dont want to be arrested for indecent exposure!!!

ryan
all the chavs hanging around the weighbridge spoiling for a fight and throwing verbal and often physical abuse at anyone they choose...AND.....the police who seem to avoid the area or send 1 WPC who is quite clearly out of her depth and possibly in danger, while her male colleagues scour the alleyways for people urinating in the dark. Tell me I'm wrong.....you can't. Oh yeah, if we dont like it theres a boat in the morning, how narrowminded? If everyone non Jersey born left, this place would die on its ar*e and all the 'real' beans could get back to the good old days when brother sister cousin love was OK. Love Jersey, hate the constant harping on about the good old days. Theyre GONE.

tiersome
grrrr.... people who pick the bones out of every thing. Something good happens, and in an instant they make it look negative, by picking the tiniest little thing. They just dont seem to want to let other people smile and be happy!!!!! always negative. BE HAPPY!!! WHO CARES ABOUT THE MINOR DOWNSIDE... AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY!!!! hmmmffff.

Hugh Rinal
The Bailiff not being elected, jobs for the boys, called "Jurats", a load of has beens playing at justice.

Kneo
The planning application to super-size El Tico in St. Ouen's Bay and make it look like a cross between a World War II aircraft hangar and a 1980's UK leisure centre. Can't wait to look back at that monstrosity when I'm sitting on my board...

Amy Smith
Well said Chris Smith!

JB
Petty-minded, insular, inbred little-Englanders as perfectly embodied by the people of Jersey.

Chris Smith
It has to be Dubai that gets my goat. Its one huge building site with a load property mercenaries selling flats that are not even close to be finished and when they are their views get interrupted by the next block of flats being produced! - take note

"GTR"
"CAPRICORNS" I HATE THEM. WHETHER THERE MALE OR FEMALE THEY ALL LOOK LIKE DAVID BOWIE,KATE MOSS OR ROWAN ATKINSON."ENOUGH SAID" IF YOU KNOW ANYONE THAT LOOKS PECULIER AND SCARY YOU KNOW YOU HAVE MET A CAPRICORN... REMEMBER IF YOUR BAD AND GO TO HELL CAPRICORN WILL BE THERE TO GREET YOU WITH HIS PITCH FORK!!!!

Jane Smith
Well said John Smith!

Anonymous - John Smith
Jersey Taxis Drivers - Banging on about their French second homes and golfing trips in France - get a life and stop looking so disappointed when taking us to the airport for a weekend away when you break the speed limit for no apparent reason before the 9:00am flight.

Your attitude with Broad Street annoyed alot of Jersey Residents - grow up, we don't need taxis hence the reason why so many are walking now. In Dubai where the taxis drivers where uniforms and our courteous don't inform locals / tourists of what a crap time Jersey is and the good old days, they do their job professionally - take note.

Clay
My partner leaving the toothpaste lid off so the toothpaste goes crusty round the rim!