Best Movie Moments of 2007
BBC Movies Awards 2007
The halls are decked with boughs of holly, there’s mulled wine on the stove and a robin redbreast in the griddle pan. Christmas is here, and that means it’s time for the annual BBC Movies Awards, or "Beebles," as they are fondly known by the movers and shakers of the international movie industry. Shut up, they might be.

The Gandalf Award For The Beard of the Year300
Winner: Gerald Butler in 300.
An astounding column of fur, quivering with pure rage and so long that it arrived on the battlefield and slew a thousand Persians while Leonidas was still putting his sandals on. Not to be tangled with.

The Comeback Award
John RamboWinner: Sylvester Stallone.
Cinemagoers flocked to see Rocky Balboa, despite the ludicrous spectacle of a man in his sixties trading blows with a heavyweight champion. "It’s got heart!" cried Rocky’s defenders. Yeah, right. A heart transplant, more like. Next year: Rambo returns to impale the Burmese on his pointy zimmer of doom.

The David Cronenberg Award For Ickiest Alien
The InvasionWinner: The Invasion.
Featuring po-faced pod people who infected other humans by holding them down and puking yellow pus all over their faces. Ewww! Guys, please: we’re trying to eat popcorn here.

The Thorny Moral Dilemma Award
ApocalyptoWinner: Apocalypto.
Or, "Mel Gibson might be a drunken bigot, but this film really kicks ass."


Least Comprehensible Film of The Year
INLAND EMPIREWinner: INLAND EMPIRE.
2007 was a good year for self indulgent anti-narrative noodling (we’re looking at you, Southland Tales. And you, The Fountain) but these young pretenders were as mere sycophants to David Lynch, the Emperor of the Elusive. After months of analysis and research, we’ve decided that INLAND EMPIRE is actually a romantic comedy. Or possibly a firework safety film.

The Meryl Streep Accent Award
Blood DiamondWinner: Leo DiCaprio.
Leo took a shot at a painfully complex Rhodesian drawl for his role as a gem smuggler in Blood Diamond. Was it accurate? Who the hell knows? It was more believable than Jennifer Connelly as an investigative journalist.

Best Punch-Up
BourneWinner: The Bourne Ultimatum.
Come on! Matt Damon beats a guy to death with a hardback book! Jeez, who else even comes close? We haven’t seen the like since The Chronicles of Riddick, when Vin Diesel killed a guy with a teacup.

And finally...

Worst Film of The Year
Norbit
Winner/Loser: Norbit.
Please Eddie, just retire.



Written byPaul Arendt