A lot was said after our abandoned one-dayer against New Zealand, but as far as I'm concerned the umpires had no choice at all other than to call it off when they did.

Anyone who questions the timing of the abandonment is just being ludicrous.

It was a no-brainer. By the time we went off they were the darkest conditions I've ever played in by a long way - even with the white ball it was too dark. I couldn't see past the end of my nose.

I know New Zealand will have been frustrated by it, but no more than the England team were.

People might think there was relief in the England dressing room but there certainly wasn't. The match was very much up for grabs for both sides and, more than anything, it is genuinely irksome when you put in all the hard work, preparation and then effort out on the pitch, and it means nothing.

We had spent much of the day killing time. I had a few throw-downs - though that only resulted in me and a few of the boys 'bundling' fielding coach Richard Hasall for whipping in his throw-downs far too hard! (see below) - while some did Sudoku or crosswords or whatever.

But more than anything, the time when you can't play is just boring and, from that point of view, I can sympathise with the fans, who must have been very frustrated.

I can also understand the questions about the 30-minute break taken between the two innings.

To be honest, the players and management were all ready - and simply expected - a quick turnaround after our innings had ended and it was a bit of a surprise when we didn't. We didn't realise that for the umpires the break was non-negotiable.

I'm sure there'll be something said or done about it by the ICC for future matches.

As for [Kiwi skipper] Daniel Vettori's suggestion that because of our over-rate perhaps we were employing 'gamesmanship' or a deliberate 'go slow', that was certainly not something I was even remotely aware of.

I have to be 100% honest here, and I may take some stick because of it, but I was genuinely working on the premise that the game became 'official' once New Zealand had batted 10 overs - just as is the case in county cricket!

In fact, even as we were walking off, I thought we'd lost! Maybe the Kiwis give us too much credit with accusations of gamesmanship...

At the end of the day, it's just another furore that has followed a match. First it was KP's switch-hitting, now it is this - we're getting quite used to it! I can't wait to see what the next rumble is about!

Now we head to Bristol for the third one-dayer and, after the frustration of Edgbaston, all the players just hope the weather holds out.

New Zealand may feel that a chance to win was taken away from them on Wednesday, but that will probably only make them more determined to come at us hard next game.

For us, I guess it's good that we're at least 1-0 up with three to play.

There were a number of positive performances for us to take out of the game at Edgbaston - Luke Wright hitting the ball as hard and as far as anyone in a terrific knock being just one example.

We're obviously nowhere near the finished article as a one-day side yet, but I'd like to think we're really starting to gel as a unit and that's showing in our performances.

We're playing some good cricket, as we have done for a while now, but we're doing it on a more consistent basis and the aim is to obviously play like we did at Durham in the first game every time we play, whoever we play against.

The template of someone getting a hundred and a few others getting quickfire 50s, along with all the bowlers chipping in with wickets and tight lines, is what we aim for every time we step out onto the field.

And that's what we'll be looking for come Saturday.

In my last column I invited you to send me in your questions and here I'm going to do my best to answer a few of them...

On the subject of Graeme and the picture of him wearing the RAF beret. I'm not sure whether he looks like a Stephen King character of inner turmoil and terror, or a modern day Windsor Davis from it Ain't 'alf Hot Mum... Either way, it scares me. (Liz)

Ha ha - I haven't actually seen the picture yet. My mate texted me saying if ever there was a man to look silly trying on a hat, he knew it'd be me. Oops.

I was wondering, normally in Tests and ODIs Stuart Broad's shirt number is number 39. But recently in the T20 and in the start of The New Zealand ODIs, his number has been number 8? Why has his number changed? (hannarrx)

When you play they ask you what number you want to wear. For me, whereas I used to be 24 when I first came in, by the time I got back into the England set-up KP had pinched that, and so I was just given 66. There's no great reasoning behind it. As for Broady, he probably grabbed eight as a statement that's where he wants to be batting in future, bless 'im.

With all the invention in cricket lately, it feels as if the bowlers are being left behind - are there any "new" deliveries that Graham is trying to develop or that he is had heard other players trying to develop? (hywel1010)

There's not that much invention in cricket, just one guy who can switch hands and smack it out of the park! But other than the thousands of variations I and other bowlers use, there's none that I'm aware of that will 'change' cricket or anything. If I did try anything too out of the ordinary, I know I would just end up looking silly.

And, for the record, it's GraEME - Graham shows no class, come on...

Could you ask Graeme Swann if he enjoyed his birthday over the New Year period. I was at the darts world championship semi-finals and Graeme, Sidey and Alistair Cook were all in the VIP section. When I was on the bus into town, Swanny and his friends asked me directions to Soho as they were celebrating his birthday, just wondering if he enjoyed it. (James, London)

Ah mate, it was a cracking night and will live long in the memory. Even now, when someone hits a boundary in cricket and that 'darts' tune comes over the PA system - da-da-da-da-da-da-da, you know the one - we all give each other a knowing look.

Oh, and cheers for the directions. In fact, it's a shame you weren't there to help me today because I got lost driving to my hotel in Bristol. It's amazing, but my sat-nav gave me 15 different routes to the same ol' dead end. Sid (Ryan Sidebottom) wasn't best pleased either because he was following me. Sorry about that Sid.

And finally... If given the choice of receiving an alpaca (a camel-type goat) or a warthog as a house warming gift, were you to buy a 4 bedroom house in Norfolk, would you: a) choose warthog b) choose alpaca c) perform a dance explaining the life cycle of an avocado; or d) challenge Cliff Thorburn to an arm wrestle? (Mystic Fink - Psychic to the stars)

Erm, what are you on son? Seriously? If I have to, I guess I'd have to go with D) Thorburn in an arm wrestle. But only left-handed. And I'd win.

That's it for now, me and Sid are off to watch that Incredible Hulk film at the cinema. Keep your questions coming folks and I'll answer a selection in my next column.

Cheers,
Graeme.

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon.

I sit here, alone in my hotel room in Manchester, stuck with rubbish TV all night and with none of the England boys due to arrive until Thursday.

And to make matters worse, I've not only forgotten to pack half my gear, including my shoes, I've forgotten my guitar.

That said, you should hear some of the tunes me and my band have been writing. We've got some top stuff up our sleeve so don't be surprised if we get ourselves a number one record at some stage.

You never know, we could be bigger than The Beatles. Well, taller than The Beatles at least.

Anyway, with Nottinghamshire not involved in the Twenty20 Cup until Friday, I've spent my day training all morning and then driving 200 miles for a corporate sponsorship event, while most county cricketers get their teeth stuck into the form of the game taking the cricketing world by storm.

Wednesday saw the confirmation that the England and Wales Cricket Board have signed up to take part in an annual game for the next five years that will see businessman Sir Allen Stanford offer a prize fund of £10m for a winner-takes-all Twenty20 match involving England in Antigua.

For my full thoughts on this, click here, but what I'll say in this blog is that the money floating about in the game now is phenomenal, just mesmerising.

Especially as a player more renowned for the short form of the game, it's an exciting time to be a cricketer and that game would be one I'd be desperate to play in.

However, it's not just about the money for me - even though I could pay off the mortgage or sort myself out a new downstairs bathroom with the cash, no doubt.

I know me, and I know no matter what I earned I'd waste it all in three months anyway.

I'd be the bloke who buys a Ferrari and a helicopter and then writes them both off within a week. I'm rubbish with money and, as a result, I genuinely don't get excited about it.

What I do get excited about is the prospect of playing in a match of such magnitude. Some players will regard it with excitement, some with trepidation, but I want to be the best I can be at any form of the game I put my hand to and that would be the pinnacle.

Of course, it could all be for nothing - if you lose it's basically a two-day holiday in Antigua and three months of sleepless nights wondering where it all went wrong - but I'd love to be there.

As for the future - who knows? Maybe county sides will start concentrating on the Twenty20 side a bit more, or maybe the two forms of the game - the red ball and the white ball - will develop into different sports in their own right, a bit like rugby union and rugby league.

There's no doubting that we are seeing a revolution in cricket and I, for one, am just dead excited to be involved.

For now, though, my focus - and the focus of all the England players - is on the upcoming series against New Zealand.

Everyone knows the score - and the cliches - for this series. Yes, New Zealand are a stronger one-day unit than they are a Test side and, yes, we could be in for a 'backlash' after their Test series defeat.

But there's not a huge amount to complain about with this England side at the moment, I don't think.

Our Test side have just secured back-to-back Test series wins and as a one-day unit we're settling into our stride and generally sticking on an upward curve.

Even though we lost the last one-day series against the Kiwis, we played a lot of good cricket and, under Peter Moores and Paul Collingwood, we're heading in the right direction.

Brendon McCullum is the absolute key for them. He is so explosive at the top of the order and, when he fires, New Zealand really tick. When we got him out early in previous series we generally dominated so we'll be looking to do that as often as possible.

And we have every chance of doing that. Our bowling unit was fantastic against them in the Test side - Jimmy Anderson was brilliant, Ryan Sidebottom does what he always does and that's bowl majestically, and Stuart Broad really impressed with ball and bat.

There are a couple of guys coming in for stick - you have to expect that, this is sport at the highest level - but the Test side have shown a consistency of selection brings success on the pitch and hopefully a similar approach will bring the same results in the short form of the game.

I firmly believe we have the tools to be a top one-day side and we'll be looking to push on and continue to improve at this level in this series.

We can definitely win it, for sure. Especially with the support of the crowds behind us; English fans are second to none.

On a personal note, my form this season has been really pleasing. I've taken a lot of wickets - especially in the longer form of the game - and I've scored a few runs, so I feel in really good shape for this series.

Now, I'm just looking forward to catching up with the boys. I haven't seen most of them since New Zealand and it will be good to get back into the England fold and doing my bit to help us beat the Kiwis.

It starts, of course, with the Twenty20 game on Friday at Old Trafford. We won the last two against them comfortably and it would be great to get a similar performance and result this time around.

Off the field, without my guitar, my entertainment duties may be a touch restrained. Although I could get Jimmy to bring his for me... that'll please the neighbours!

By the way, in future columns I'll be endeavouring to answer your questions, so post them below and I will respond to the best (and possibly the worst!) next time.

Cheers,
Graeme.

In future columns I'll be answering the best (and worst!) of your questions, so post them below and I will respond next time. Thanks.

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon

Two words can sum up our Test series win over New Zealand, I think, 'job done'.

The sense of achievement amongst the squad is great. While it wasn’t a five-Test series or the Ashes, this was a tough tour against a good side - and to come from behind to win 2-1 was absolutely fantastic.

We took a lot of stick after that match, with one or two players singled out very unfairly, but we stuck together as a squad, kept the belief and came back fighting to highlight the character and quality that runs deep in this squad.

After a great win in Wellington we got to McLean Park and, on a wicket that was so flat and true, it would’ve been easy for us to sit back, play out a draw, and come back home from the Test series unbeaten.

But that’s not what this side is about – we don’t take anything for granted and won’t settle for second best – and the way Ryan Sidebottom and Stuart Broad bowled in the first innings allowed us to win the match and series in style.

It’d be nice to think that those who were so constructive in their criticism when things didn’t go well in Hamilton will be equally constructive in their praise now we’ve won.

Of course we have had spells in this series where we have not played such good cricket, but we are definitely heading in the right direction and are going some way to ensuring those spells become less and less frequent.

The most pleasing thing that we will take away from this tour, I’d say, is the fact that we took near enough 60 wickets in three matches and the key to that has obviously been Sidebottom who, once again, had a stunning series.

To take 24 wickets was a fabulous effort and if he keeps doing what he’s been doing, sticking it in the right areas at a fair old lick and with a bit of swing, he can be the lynchpin of this attack for many years to come.

He is one of the most consistent performers in world cricket at the moment and, while it’s hard to say where he stands among the world’s best, there are very few who know their art better than Sid.

It couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke either. He thoroughly deserves all the plaudits heading his way and I’m stoked for him – his fame appears even to be outgrowing his hair which, let’s be honest, is saying something!

It has often been said, too, that you can judge a lot about a side when they are winning if you look at the players not involved and we have won the last two Tests with the likes of Andrew Flintoff, Stephen Harmison, Matthew Hoggard and Simon Jones on the sidelines.

Those who have come in have done brilliantly – Anderson in Wellington was superb, Broady has been brilliant in the last two, and Timmy Ambrose produced the innings of the tour in turning things around for us in the second Test.

That kind of competition for places bodes very well for the future and those in possession of the shirt know they must keep performing Test after Test because there are some huge talents waiting in the wings.

That starts with this summer. We must build on this series win and beat New Zealand at home ahead of what is sure to be a really tough series against South Africa – the talent and potential in this squad is such that we can certainly win both of those.

On a personal level, I am obviously looking forward to the one-day series against New Zealand whatever happens with the Tests and playing a big role in those.

Before that, I just have to go back to Nottinghamshire, work on my art and my consistency, and keep doing my best to remind the selectors what I can offer an England side in the Test arena.

In the meantime, I have a 26-hour flight to get through. After sitting with Liam Gallagher and chatting up Denise van Outen on the flight out, I have my best aftershave on in anticipation of whatever celebrity I’m going to meet on the way back.

I have my fingers crossed for Yasmine Bleeth. Even though I’m a taken man, as I’ve said many times before – she’s famous, so it’s allowed…

To mark our return home, I thought I’d hand out my end-of-tour awards. See what you think…

Tour Winner Monty Panesar. Whilst celebrating over a few jars with the Barmy Army following the Napier Test, Monty was called upon to give the lads a song. We all suspected he’d go into his shell and refuse but, lo and behold, he belted out a cracking rendition of the National Anthem and it went down an absolute treat. A joy to behold.

Tour Loser Jesse Ryder. After bursting onto the scene in the one-dayers and smashing us to all parts he decided the best way to celebrate was to smash his hand through a window. Nice one.

Most Improved Jimmy Anderson. On guitar. He only picked it up in Sri Lanka, but can almost do a passable ‘Wonderwall’ now.

Tour Entertainer Phil Mustard, without a doubt. He always sounds like that one out of Police Academy with the funny voice (Cadet Zed – Bobcat Goldthwait) and is forever making people laugh with how daft he is and the things he says. Top, top value.

The Socialite’s ‘Must Try Harder’ Award That’s a hard one. We’ve only two chances to go out and have a drink this tour, after the two Test wins, and let me assure you every man did his duty for Queen and country so no-one springs to mind… I can’t say anyone didn’t pull out all the stops.

The Teacher’s Pet Award Again, a tough one, but I’ll say Matthew Hoggard, for no other reason than the fact he always has to get a mention, somewhere, somehow…

The Ladies’ Choice Award Myself, obviously. *Cough*.

Unsung Hero Tim Ambrose. Although, he’s not so unsung anymore because the Barmy Army song for him is absolutely priceless… get yourselves out on tour and check it out.

The David Boon Award for Best Drinker This one can’t be given out. In this day and age of us athletes eating, drinking and living the sport the right way, sports drinks are our equivalent of beer and wine. Honest.

Most likely to win the lottery and then lose the ticket (From Annie) Haha, Phil Mustard, no question.

Let me know your suggestions below...

Thanks again for your comments and questions. Here are my answers to a selection...

Can you talk us through your 4 overthrows at Wellington? (Anthony)
One thing we talk about with the sports psychologists is making your mark and really stamping your authority on games, so I thought the best way to do that was to wing it right over the keeper’s head and cost us four runs. Ridiculously embarrassing, especially getting the mickey ripped out of me by the likes of David Lloyd afterwards and being called a rude word by Ryan Sidebottom. But, in the knowledge that we still came away with the win, blooming hilarious too. Ouch.

Who is the most romantic member of the squad and who is the least? (Sarah)
It’s between myself and Alastair Cook for the least romantic, I’d say - we’re slightly more Victorian in our outlook, I guess. Most romantic? KP throws the affection out there a lot for Jessica and has organised a few helicopter trips for her and things like that, so I guess he’s good value.

Who's got the worst habit(s) out of all the lads in the team? (Kerry)
Well, I can’t get too personal here, so I’ll say Ian Bell. Only because he’s a massive prankster and yet he keeps getting away with it, which is doubly annoying. I must be honest and say I find them highly entertaining, though…

Whilst on tour do you play on any consoles or computer games? (Craig)
Quite a few have the portable handhelds – in fact, Sid’s in a mood right now because he’s just realised he’s put his in his suitcase not his hand luggage and can’t play it on the flight home. He claims he was on level 10 of Super Mario World or something, whatever that is. Harmy’s another who won’t go out on tour without PGA golf or something so it’s all good.

Personally I rely more on the guitar to keep me occupied, but there’s space in my world for a bit of Tiger Woods golf, it’s genius.

Can you please confirm if Stuart Broad has insecurities about his legs? I noticed he is always in tracksuit bottoms, even in the unbearable heat of Sri Lanka. (Imi)

I think he must do, come to think of it. I should imagine he has ridiculously sparrow-like legs judging by the length of the fella, he’s like a golf club with ears. When we get him down to Notts we’ll pin him down and check em out, no worries. It’s the sort of thing we do down at Trent Bridge…

That’s all for now folks!

Cheers,
Graeme

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon

It was plainly obvious to anyone watching the second Test against New Zealand how much the victory meant to us, and the mood in the England camp has been brilliant since.

We received a lot of criticism after the first Test – some of it just and some of it unjust – but the guys have been busting a gut since we’ve got over here and it was nice to answer the critics in the best possible way.

It needed to happen, of course. We had to step up after Hamilton and, bearing in mind England hadn’t won a Test away from home for so long, it was crucial we went out, played as we know we can, and hammered it home, which we did.

There has been some talk that the pitch was not what New Zealand might have wanted. But even though it was a more English pitch in many ways, it’s the same for both sides at the end of the day.

James Anderson, in particular, kept a firm eye on the New Zealand attack - and it was a conscious effort of his and all our bowlers to pitch it up, give it a chance to swing, and it paid dividends.

Of course, Jimmy and Stuart Broad got their chance after Matthew Hoggard and Steve Harmison were left out, and you have to say it was a brave decision from the selectors that was ultimately justified. The proof was in the pudding, as they say.

Jimmy was magnificent in the first innings and, along with Ryan Sidebottom, bowled brilliantly throughout. Stuart Broad, meanwhile, showed just how much potential he has and played a brilliant supporting role.

So, all in all, while not the perfect performance, it was fantastic to see all the things we have been sweating our guts over in practice come to fruition and the players certainly deserved to enjoy it.

We had a few beers in the dressing room after the match and then met up in the evening for a bit of a St Patrick’s Day victory celebration. Inevitably, it ended in a bit of a sing-song after Vaughany had ordered me to get the guitar out and we all cracked out a few tunes.

Ryan Sidebottom was leading the singing even though, despite being Roger Daltrey’s twin, he doesn’t like guitar music, while Tim Ambrose also came to the party – he’s better than Eric Clapton on the guitar, seriously.

The spirit and camaraderie was top as the players, wives, girlfriends and coaches all revelled in the win together and, although I would obviously much rather have been out there on the pitch with the boys, we are all out here together and win as a squad and lose as a squad, so it wasn’t hard for me to join in the celebrations.

In fact, having watched my best mates out here in Sid and Jimmy win the match for us, I took it as my solemn responsibility to get involved and ensure the boys were able to enjoy the celebrations to the fullest!

Now we are in with a very real chance of winning the series and already we are focused on Napier and the third Test.

I would imagine the wicket will be similar to Hamilton, although when we played the one-dayer there it was very hard and flat, but whatever the surface we are confident we can come away with a win.

We still haven’t seen the best from this side and it is an exciting time to be involved so, if we can play as we can in Napier, we know we will win the series and set up a celebration twice as big as the one we enjoyed in Wellington.

Thanks again for your comments and questions. I’ve tried to answer as many as possible.

Graeme, are you looking forward to going with Jimmy Anderson to watch the Toon play Burnley in the Championship next season? (Ceci Masters)
Yep, I’m looking forward to watching that match just after seeing Sunderland lose to Grimsby or the like…

If you had a virtual reality machine which was able to put you in any place or situation (real or fictional), what would it be? (James Batty)
Standing on the 18th tee at Augusta, one shot ahead of Woods with the driver in my hand. And a gaggle of screaming lovelies cheering me on. Lovely.

If you could choose anyone - male or female, alive or dead - to be the ruler of the world, who would it be? You can't choose yourself. – (Joshua)
I’d bring back Bill Clinton. I thought he got a hard press at the end of his reign – I love him. If you can’t have a president of the USA with an IQ over 50, you might as well have one that’s good with the ladies, I reckon.

When bowling, do you hold more with an anti-essentialist ontology and consequent epistemological theoretical base as set out by Foucault and others in the postmodern school, or do your sympathies lie more with the reconfiguration of the enlightenment project, seeking a new rebirth of human value systems and forms, as set out most notably by Jurggen Habermas in his theory of ideal communication and beyond. (Paul in Lancs)
I’d say definitely the former. And I also like Star Trek.

What did you guys say to Broady, Cooky and Jimmy after they participated in that Cosmopolitan photoshoot? Did the lads (including you) give them a hard time? (Jayaru)
(Alastair Cook, Stuart Broad and James Anderson posed naked – with bats covering their particulars – for a cancer awareness shoot with Cosmopolitan magazine)
It's fair to say it has been mentioned! I was there on the day of the shoot and it was hilarious. For four hours before, I’ve never seen three grown men more scared in all my life, it was like they were about to go over the top from the trenches or something. In fact, just before they went on, Cookie and Broady were heard debating the benefits of doing 20 quick press-ups to get the biceps bulging. I can also testify that they all definitely asked if they could be air-brushed to make them look more 'buff'…

Other than yourself, obviously, who are the big pranksters on this tour now guys like Flintoff and Gough aren't around? (Steve)
Ian Bell, without a doubt, if there’s ever a kipper in your pads, sandwich under your pillow or something’s gone missing, you always turn to Belly first.

Who in the squad gets the most girls? (Molly)
Everyone is happily married or with girlfriends. But I’d say the most popular one would otherwise be Alastair Cook, firstly because he looks like Danny Larusso out of the Karate Kid and secondly those eyes – you could get lost swimming in those I tell you…

Why have you not accepted me as a friend on Facebook yet? (Ed, California)
I have a team of dedicated people who look after my Facebook profile and you have to pass a very stringent test to make it as one of my friends. You have to either be an old school friend, an actual friend… or a hot single female. Actually, the missus will read this, I don’t mean that last one…

Anyway, don't forget to keep your questions coming, as always I'll answer a selection in my next column.

Cheers,
Graeme

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon

The media inquest has got into full flow following our first Test defeat in Hamilton, it would appear.

Of course, it was an intensely disappointing performance and result. The Kiwis bowled brilliantly first up and the cricket became very attritional – a run-rate of two an over is exceptionally slow – and, no, it didn’t make for very good viewing.

But the first three days is only the set-up for a Test match and it is at the business end, on days four and five, that things really count and with Ryan Sidebottom’s spell late on the fourth day we put ourselves firmly in with a shout of victory.

As it turned out, that myth was blown completely out of the water - the momentum meant absolutely nothing because the Kiwis came out flying and blew us away in one crazy session of cricket.

Suddenly, from having a sniff of victory, we were ripped apart. There are no excuses, we’re 1-0 down in the series, deservedly so, and we’re facing a tough – although do-able - task to win the series now.

However, the press are now getting stuck into one or two of the boys and, in my opinion, the majority of the criticism has been unfair.

It’s one thing to criticise a player’s technique or tactics, we’re professional cricketers and you have to accept what comes your way in that regard when things don’t go well, but it is entirely another thing to say a player is not committed to the team or that they are not putting in the blood, sweat and tears for the shirt.

Editors want headlines, writers provide them and people read them. But they rarely have the full story, are often one-sided, and sometimes give a false impression of how things are.

The only criticism that hurts is when you’re accused of not trying or doing your best because that’s the most ignorant thing that people can say. I don’t know anyone in world cricket, and especially not in this squad, that doesn’t try their absolute socks off before and during a match.

So, yes, the result and performance were not good enough, accepted. But sometimes people forget that the opposition are allowed to play well as well and, on this occasion, we did not get anywhere near our expected standards while the Kiwis put in a brilliant display from first ball to last.

Criticism is nothing new to sportsmen, just ask footballers who get it far worse than we do, but I can assure everyone that to a man this squad is doing its level best to go out on the park and perform like we know we can.

It’s not deliberate that we went out there and lost so heavily. We went out onto a cricket pitch trying to win a Test match but nothing went right for us. We have to accept that and move on.

We now know exactly what we have to do – we have to win two matches to win the series, full stop. We haven’t won a series for a while now and it’s important we come away from here with one.

We’re out on the training pitch all hours, doing all the right things trying to perfect technique and our plans, and the hope is that it will all pay off when we step out onto the field at Wellington for the second Test.

There’s no doubting the talent we have in this squad and it is only a matter of time before things click, for sure.

On a personal level, around my dressing-room duties and doing my best to support the playing members of the squad, I’ve been cramming in every moment I can in the nets and the gym, keeping myself in tip-top shape so that I’m ready should I be called upon.

The Kiwis played two spinners in Hamilton and I don’t think they’ll want to speed up the pitches and encourage our seam attack, so maybe I’ll get my shot.

If I do, everyone can rest assured I’ll be doing my absolute level best to help the team towards victory – just like every other player in the starting XI.

Thanks again for your comments and questions. I’ve tried to answer as many as possible.

Who in the team gets the most fanmail? (fruit pastille princess)
Well, it’s not so much fanmail, but Ryan Sidebottom has definitely taken over from Monty Panesar as the cult celebrity of the squad. He’s on the crest of a wave at the moment and, being so recognisable with that great head of hair of his, he forever has people jumping out of bars at him giving rather grandiose appeals or mocking his celebrations.

They say that infamy lasts longer than fame so if I want to start being recognised as a top cricketer, maybe I’ll have to think of some way to get my face known. Maybe I’ll streak during the lunch break of the next Test, dye my hair red or paint a dartboard on my backside or something. That should get the fans pouring in!

Who in the squad uses the most beauty products? (Martin)
Well it’s pretty obvious it’s Stuart Broad isn’t it. I already mentioned his blonde bob in my last column, which earned me a clip round the ear from his dad Chris by the way, but it’s there for everyone to see. I’ve never seen anyone put as many products on their hair before a game.

That said, it is rumoured – and utterly unsubstantiated of course – that Luke Wright actually came off for a break at one point during a one-dayer just to do his hair before he came on to bowl. And there are also a couple of lads – the more red-headed members of the squad shall we say – who are rumoured to carry hair straighteners in their bag… again, unsubstantiated rumours obviously, but rumours I’m happy to spread nonetheless…

Personally, I’m au naturale apart from a splash of lemon juice in there under the sun because, as my mum has always told me, chicks dig blokes with blonde hair. Fact.

And who uses the least?
It has to be Matthew Hoggard – he’s just a Neanderthal who just wrestles and growls. One look at the man in his pads tells you he couldn’t care less about his appearance. However, he has taken to using a pink grip on his bat to show his support for breast cancer research - and it does look dashing... almost as good as the pink lip gloss I whack on of a morning session…

What’s the best gig you’ve ever been to? (Nessa)
I went to see the Charlatans at the Carling Academy in Northampton three or four years ago and it was utterly brilliant. They played all the classics and we had backstage passes as well – lovely stuff.

What do you do on your day offs? (Ally)
Well, the wives and girlfriends arrived today and they’ll be with us for the rest of the tour. I’m sure everyone will have an opinion on the pros and cons of that but it’s certainly put a few smiles back on faces and that won’t do any harm ahead of the next Test.

Unfortunately for my missus, I find it hard to switch off from all the banter that goes on between the lads and so I’ve already been reprimanded a few times - she only got here a few hours ago!

Other than that, in Sri Lanka – when we were in a wildlife reserve miles from civilisation and there was literally nothing to do - myself and a few others got quite into Facebook. I’m trying to wean myself off it, though, because I was waking up in the middle of the night worrying about my status or poke pro or something… it was all getting too much!

Cheers,
Graeme

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon

It’s fair to say the final one-dayer in Christchurch didn’t go to plan and the series as a whole has been disappointing – a 3-1 defeat is hard to take.

We went into the game really revved up as a squad, thanks largely to a dramatic tie in the match at Napier.

Again, we got off to a fairly decent start, but it wasn’t the easiest pitch to score on and in the end we were probably 20-30 runs short.

The key for us was probably to take early wickets but Brendon McCullum smashed us to all parts, took the attack to the bowlers and really made it tough.

It was always going to be hard to rein it in after that and despite our best efforts – and a great spell from Ryan Sidebottom – we couldn’t do it and the Kiwis won through to seal the series.

It’s a setback after series wins against India and Sri Lanka but, as Peter Moores said to us after the game, we are a team on a journey.

We’re not anywhere near as good as we want to be yet but we’re still learning as cricketers and as a unit.

We’ve played some great cricket at times so far on this tour but obviously we’ve also played some very poor cricket too and that’s what we’ve got to iron out.

When everything clicks for us - batting, bowling and fielding - we're a force to be reckoned with already.

The challenge every game is to get all three clicking at the same time and hopefully that consistency will come. When it does, we are going to be a very, very strong side.

Personally, I was obviously disappointed I wasn’t able to do my bit for the team as I was left out of the last three matches.

I spoke to Mooresy and asked if I was close to being selected and he was very honest and just said that he and the selectors just weren’t sure how the pitch was going to play and so opted to go with an unchanged side.

He said it was a tough call – and it is comforting to know that it’s not something I’ve not done or not doing that is keeping me out of the side, only the conditions and the fact that the grounds over here are so small.

My turn will come and I, just like everyone else, have already turned my attention to the Test series.

Our schedule is pretty hectic and there isn’t much time to reflect on the one-day series as we look to hit back in the best possible way in the longer form of the game.

We have all the tools to win that series and I think the Kiwis are wary of our seam attack – Sidebottom is looking really good and we have some brilliant guys coming in like Matthew Hoggard and Steve Harmison.

That’s in addition to James Anderson and Stuart Broad – it’s an awesome line-up.

That might mean New Zealand producing a few slow pitches in attempt to combat their strengths – but that will open things up for me to do my bit and then they will be sorry!

It would be great to be given a shot in the Tests and I’ll be doing everything I can to show I deserve a place – I’ll make a case for batting at three if it gets me a starting place!

Either way, most of the guys will have had a month acclimatising to things out here and we owe the Kiwis one now after the one-dayers. Bring it on!

Thanks again for your questions. I’ve tried to answer as many as possible.

Swanny, what has been the funniest thing so far on tour? (Roderick Howlett)
There have been quite a few comments from the younger lads – Luke Wright stepping out at Christchurch, drawing breath and then exclaiming, “Ah, it’s all about Auckland isn’t it!”

Or Phil Mustard pointing to the floodlights at Hamilton and asking if they were there to dry the pitch.

But Stuart Broad’s the one who’s forever being stuck into by the lads – he’s a very precious lad and has just had his hair done in a bob, which has led to us all referring to him by our ex-girlfriend’s names. Still, he’s a pretty boy. Whack him in a skirt and I’d give him a second glance!

What is the best and the worst thing about being away from home with so many lads? (Nessa)
Best thing is the banter, camaraderie and chilling out together all the time – and the worst is the exact same thing because you get sick of each other!

What Oasis song title would best sum up the tour so far? (J)
Good question! I’d have to say “Some Might Say” I guess because we are looking at the positives from this series but obviously there are two ways to look at it and some will take a negative view. If that’s you, go and tell it to the man who cannot shiiiiine.

Do you agree that Oasis have not produced anything better than 'pretty average' since the first two albums? (Jon Roberts)
No, I don’t agree with that at all. Definitely Maybe was obviously the bees’ knees but they’ve had some absolute belters since then. I’m sorry but you can’t argue with Oasis, it’s not allowed.

I was intrigued by your claim that 95% of the squad listen to rubbish music - who's in the 5% that don’t? (Sarah)
Me, Jimmy Anderson and Tim Ambrose. That’s it. Timmy’s got good taste – and is actually a bit of a gem on the guitar secretly too – while Jimmy’s taste is improving. He still likes the occasional rubbish R&B track but I’m doing my best to drill it out of him. If I can, an England supergroup won’t be too far away – and we’ll be killer!

Mate - following the continued demise of Newcastle United I look forward to taking £10 off you and your brother! (George Doors)
When Kevin Keegan took over, I was the happiest man alive. The stuff we were playing under Sam Allardyce – all that long-ball nonsense - was intolerable.

The trouble is Keegan has come in and we’re trying to play football – we’re just not very good at it! Still, I’ve every faith they’ll come good – and the sooner the better because Paul Collingwood has been giving it large of late and, from a Maccam, that can’t be allowed to continue.

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon

I have to be honest and say this past week or two has been among the strangest in my cricket career.

We arrived here on the crest of a wave after magnificent series wins over India and Sri Lanka and we just carried that on in the Twenty20 matches, winning both quite comfortably.

We put in a couple of great performances, the fellas were bowling well and smashing the ball to all parts with the bat, and it looked like we were completely dominating the New Zealanders.

Then, in the first two one-day internationals, it was a complete role reversal.

In Wellington it turned out to be a difficult pitch to set a target on and we failed miserably to do that. And then, after starting magnificently in Hamilton, we completely collapsed following a rain delay and it was one of those days when the wheels completely fell off and you wanted the ground to open and swallow you up.

I don’t think anyone involved in that game will ever forget it - for all the wrong reasons. All of a sudden, from being on an absolute high we were at an absolute low.

The time had come for us to get together and have a frank and fair discussion as a squad – and it turned out to be a critical, positive turn-around.

It wasn’t so much that harsh words were spoken, more that everyone was just very honest with each other about where we are and where want to be.

Everyone realises we want to be the best team in the world and to do that you have to play and train, day in, day out, like winners. It was by no means a negative meeting - it wasn’t case of us telling each other where we were going wrong, more of highlighting what we wanted to do more of and do better – and we all emerged from it massively lifted, positive and focused on what we wanted to do.

Nor was it the case that we thought we were better than we are or that we were over-confident. There isn’t a perception in this side about how good we are or aren’t – we just know where we want to be, that we are by no means the finished article, and that we must continue to work our butts off to ensure we get there.

It was a shame that it took two defeats to make it happen, to be snapped around with a brutal reality check like we were, but I truly believe it will turn out to be a healthy thing that will put and keep us on the road to being the best possible team we can be.

That journey got going with a terrific win last time out. It was kickstarted by a magnificent performance from our bowlers, with James Anderson, Ryan Sidebottom and Stuart Broad superb, and was carried on with a good batting display.

But, like I say, the change wasn’t necessarily in winning the game, it was in the preparation, training and focus brought about before the match.

From a personal point of view, of course it was disappointing to miss out on the win in Auckland, but I understood the decision. It was a seam-friendly pitch and to say the boundaries at Eden Park are not friendly for an off-spinner is an understatement. You need only see the treatment (Kiwi spinner) Jeetan Patel got in the Twenty20 matches to realise that.

Of course I’m desperate to get back into the side and I just have to keep my fingers crossed that the pitches and grounds are more conducive to my game in future.

I like to think there’s always room for a spinner in a match and I want to be providing that for England. I know my role in the side and I like to think I can play a big part in a successful England team.

Hopefully, that continues with the fourth one-dayer in Napier on Tuesday.

We’re utterly focused on the future and know that no-one has seen the best of this England team yet.

We came here knowing how good New Zealand are and how tough a tour it would be, but we certainly didn’t come here to lose and we’ll be looking to continue where we left off in Auckland next up for sure.

In my last column I invited you to send me in your questions and here I'm going to do my best to answer a few of them...

Do you or any of the boys have any plans to pin Ryan Sidebottom down and cut that ridiculous barnet of his? (James Martin)
No plans whatsoever - I certainly wouldn’t even try. For a start his mum would kill me (his gran loves it too) and I know for a fact Sid would knock me out if I ever went near his hair. Everywhere he goes, for his entire life as far as I’m aware, people comment on the hair and it’s stick and praise in equal measure. There’s no chance he’s getting rid of it, though, it makes him who is.

How are you finding it being away from your girlfriend back home? (Sam Lyon)
My whole view of touring is that it’s the healthiest thing possible for a relationship – three months away from me has got to be good for my missus, I’d only be winding her up if I were back at home!

I know you play guitar and sing Graeme, so will you be taking the opportunity of adding a few Split Enz/Crowded House songs to your repertoire whilst in New Zealand? (Mel)
Not at all because it’s the sort of music my dad listens to.

Is there nobody in the current England set-up who enjoys music of the non-pop variety? (Jerry Turner)
Well, obviously, I have the best taste in music because the music I like is unquestionably magnificent! I’d personally say anyone who likes hip-hop, boy-bands and cheesy pop hasn’t got a clue and that’s basically 95% of the squad, which is a bit of a disgrace let’s be honest! Look at the best albums of all time and I don’t think you’ll be finding S Club 7’s greatest hits in there - we’ve basically got a bunch of fellas here who adore music for seven-year-old girls. I have to have my ipod on before a match just to avoid the stuff blasting out of the team stereo – rubbish.

What's your best experience away from the cricket so far this tour? (Sam Lyon)
Definitely the flight over because I sat next to Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher – a hero of mine. Luke Wright was originally supposed to sit next to him but he’s just a young boy-band wannabe and probably doesn’t even have a clue who he is so I got our seats swapped sharpish. It was proper Roy of the Rovers dream stuff – I’ll probably get home and find I’ve won the lottery and Newcastle are top of the Premier League. No, all right, that’s just ludicrous talk…

Oh and also, when we got to LA Denise van Outen was at the airport and, being the gobby one of the gang, obviously it was left to me to chat to her – it was nice to share 45 minutes with the girl everyone fancies! In fact, she was so taken with me I expect she’ll follow me to New Zealand, bless her. And it’s ok, I’ve explained it to the missus – Denise van Outen is famous, it’s allowed.

Graeme – your flat back in Blisworth Mill is leaking. (Simon West)
My flat’s always leaking! Get the roof fixed Westy and stop moaning!

Keep your questions coming folks and I will be doing my best to dip in and out of this blog to answer them and keep you updated on the goings-on out here in New Zealand.

Cheers,
Graeme

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon

We kick off with two Twenty20s this week ahead of the five-match one-day series and, coming here on the back of an historic one-day series win in Sri Lanka last November – which no-one outside of the squad expected I’m sure - we’re determined to keep this England side on the upward curve.

We want to be the best side in the world in one-day and Test cricket and the only way to do that is to go and beat teams in their own backyard – that continues here.

One of the best things about this squad is that there are no big egos and no cliques so, just as it was for me joining the set-up in Sri Lanka, the new boys coming in have settled really quickly.

We’ve trained really hard to get ourselves ready for the tour ahead, but it is equally important to enjoy time away from the game. I think I’d go absolutely stir crazy if I were to live, breathe, eat and drink cricket 100% of the time.

Luckily, I like a laugh, doing the odd impression and singing and what not, so I always seem to find myself at the centre of whatever’s going on – which is brilliant, and the atmosphere between the lads is really good.

But I try not to overdo it and annoy anyone because I think you either love or hate my ‘entertainment’ skills – I don’t want to end up getting a smack on the chops off one of the boys for my troubles!

That said, I am lending a hand to James Anderson with the guitar. I’m self taught and I wouldn’t claim to be the next John Squire (of the Stone Roses), but I’m helping Jimmy towards becoming the next guitar hero so that’s all good!

We had a good team meal at the start of the tour to help settle everyone in and get the squad bonded, an excellent opportunity for us all to get the banter and camaraderie going.

We know what we’re here to do, though, and that’s kick off the tour with wins in the Twenty20 internationals and then the one-dayers.

I’ve spent quite a lot of time in New Zealand; I’ve played club cricket out here and it’s kind of like a home from home, so I know what they have to offer as opponents, as do the rest of the boys.

Some of their more experienced players, Shane Bond and Stephen Fleming, won’t be involved in the one-dayers, while Daniel Vettori misses the Twenty20s, and I won’t deny that’s a fillip for us. But they have a lot of talented players and they’re going to be a very difficult side to play against.

Kicking off in front of a 45,000 crowd in Tuesday’s Twenty20 in Auckland will be the perfect place for us to get this tour going in style and, after two excellent warm-up wins already, the boys know how important it can be to get off to a good start.

If we can do that with victory on Tuesday, it can really set the tone for the rest of the tour.

Anyway, in future columns I’ll be endeavouring to answer any questions you might have so drop them in below and I’ll address the best (and the worst!) of them.

Cheers,
Graeme.

Graeme Swann was talking to Sam Lyon

The confident off-spinner, born in Northampton in 1979, was picked for England’s one-day series in Sri Lanka in October 2007, nearly eight years after his only previous international cap.

He tasted instant success as part of a winning unit, and also played in the 2-0 Twenty20 series win in New Zealand in February 2008.

As well as imparting plenty of spin on the ball, he also varies his flight and speed through the air and is a dangerous lower middle-order batsman.

Swann’s move from Northants to Nottinghamshire for the start of the 2005 season coincided with the team winning the County Championship.

In his spare time he sings lead vocals for a rock band called Dr Comfort and the Lurid Revelations, a band which includes former England spinner Eddie Hemmings’ son Jim.

Swann’s next target is to make a Test debut.