Buying croissants in bakeries in France, wandering the streets of Rome and visiting Cape Canaveral to see where NASA launched the space shuttle in Florida. The memories are etched in my mind. Trying figs from a market in Italy for the first time, I will never forget their colour, texture or taste.

I also loved visiting my granny in Northumberland, enjoying days out at the vast white beaches and eating sandwiches nestled amongst the windswept sand dunes for protection against the howling wind. We even attempted a swim in the North Sea during the Easter holidays, which is not for the faint hearted!

The best way to learn about a country is to actually visit it. But good geography teaching is also needed. A recent Ofsted report has said that the teaching of this subject is not good enough in half our schools. The obvious fall-out from this is that some children have a woeful lack of knowledge about capital cities, continents, and world affairs.

According to one report, most primary school teachers lacked specialist knowledge in the subject, leading them to broadcast generalised stereotypes about different countries and cultures. Moreover the subject has practically disappeared in a tenth of primary schools.

Interestingly in the classroom children could talk about development issues in Kenya and Africa as a whole but could not find the country on the map. Perhaps going back to basics and teaching kids how to read a map is key to further their understanding of the subject and the world they live in?

Many secondary schools now teach geography and history in one humanities lesson. And worryingly 97 secondary schools failed to enter one pupil for Geography GCSE in 2007 and by 2009 that number had increased to 127. Whilst this is a relatively low number given there are 4,000 secondary schools in the country, there would be an outcry if it were another subject, like maths.

A report by the Geographical Association recommended better training for teachers, a stronger focus on geography during the first three years of secondary education and an increase in the number of fieldtrips for all year groups.

As parents, we don’t need to take our children to exotic locations to cultivate their interest in geography or the world. There are many online resources to stimulate their natural curiosity and interest in their surroundings. BBC Scotland has a great site for kids. 

Some simple practical things can really help too. Buy a map of the world stick it up on the wall so they know where they live in relation to friends and family. Teach your kids where countries are and the names and location of their capital cities. Talk to them about different countries, cultures and visit museums and places of interest in Britain and further afield, if you can.

The BBC's Things To Do site is also a great source of ideas for activities across the UK.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

The evidence of the ill-effects of large classes is quite compelling.

And the news for UK parents is not brilliant: class sizes in the UK are amongst the largest in the developed world, with an average of 26 pupils in a class.

Research from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), shows that Japan and South Korea have the largest class sizes, with well above 30 per class on average, whilst Greece has the smallest, with an average of 17 pupils per class. 

Larger class sizes are obviously more cost effective. One article presents a case for the large primary class size in the UK as they help to ‘lower costs' - ‘The larger class sizes allows the UK to afford better teacher pay and longer student learning hours, so basically it’s quite an effective spending choice.’   Many children at primary level at Key Stage 1 are in classes of 30 (there is a limit of 30 pupils per class for children aged 5 to 7). By Key Stage 2, class sizes often exceed 30.

A recent study by the Institute of Education has proved that smaller class sizes are particularly beneficial for children who are low achievers.

The research shows that pupils in large classes struggle to concentrate and have little interaction with the teacher. Students were twice as likely to misbehave in classes of 30 as they were in classes of 15. The report suggests small classes can be a valuable educational initiative right through school, but should be particularly targeted at lower attaining pupils at secondary level.

When I talk to my eight year-old about school, (she is in a class of 30) it often sounds like her teacher spends most of her time on crowd control and discipline, rather than teaching. I sometimes wonder how much one-on-one attention she actually gets.

Whilst I believe teachers are doing an admirable job, teaching more than 30 children must be a real challenge, even with the help of a teaching assistant. Perhaps this is too great a challenge?

Yet it is unlikely that the situation is going to improve. Education Secretary Michael Gove has warned that primary schools have to find places for an extra 350,000 pupils over the next four years, due to a 15 per cent increase in applications.  

This coupled with spending cuts, surely means that class sizes are set to increase, even if more schools are built to cope with the extra demand. A recent report from Durham University claimed that the quality feedback from a teacher is more important than class size. .It costs a lot to reduce class size and it only works if class size is considerably reduced but improving teaching is more achievable.

I agree that a ‘one size fits all’ approach to education seems to support the financial interests of schools and institutions, but I’m not convinced it meets the educational needs of our children. 

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Last year saw the first intake of rising fives to all the local schools in our area. And when I see the foundation stage children in the playground, I can’t help wondering whether another year at a pre-school or nursery in a less formal setting, might have been a better option for them all - particularly when children in other European countries, like Finland or Denmark, don’t start their formal education until they are six or seven years old.

Labour changed the schools admission policy in 2009. It now means that all children have the option of starting school in the September after their fourth birthday. Before, children born in the summer often moved on to primary school in the January or April before they turned five. Where we live it was the term after they turned five.

The school my eldest goes to has built a beautiful new classroom and play area for the fresh intake of children. They are doing a great job accommodating the youngest members of the school.

But some parents have raised concerns about the day being too long for the children. In response, the school and governors did consult the parents about shortening the day for the younger children. This wasn’t implemented because there were too many objections, although they are still considering it as an option for the foundation stage.

We don’t have to send our girls in September, we can keep them at their nursery and at home for one or two more terms and then send them to school in the Spring or the Summer term instead. 

Our dilemma is this: I worry that delaying the start for two more terms will cause them to lag behind their peers, even though there is also lots of evidence that starting too young can be stressful.

According to a review of primary education led by Cambridge University in 2009, children should not start school until they turn six as school is stressful and young pupils’ needs are often not being met. It argued that reception children should have more space, time for play and equipment suitable for their age.

One of the main arguments put forward by the government of the time was that this change in policy would counter the fact that summer born children fare worse in exams.

It is well documented that summer born babies are less likely to achieve good GCSEs and A-levels results or go to university, than kids born in earlier in the school year. It is hoped that sending them to school earlier, will reverse this trend.

Perhaps it is time that school admissions and classes were looked at from a different perspective. Why not put children in classes by ability rather than purely by age? In America and in France, it is common for children to stay back a year if they haven’t reached the expected academic standards and brighter students are sometimes moved up a year.

As a parent I do have some options and I am grateful for that. Regarding my twin girls starting school, the current plan for September is to ‘wait and see’. If I think they’re not ready to go to school, I will keep them at home for as long as I can.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Young children need boundaries to keep them safe; don’t talk to strangers; take care crossing roads, etc. When children grow into adults, boundaries make them nicer people to be around. Without them, they will find adult life much harder.

So in principle, I am completely up for setting firm boundaries for my own children (eldest is 8 and twins nearly 4) but in reality, it is not that easy. I am really struggling with this issue at the moment. It feels like my kids are really pushing them in our house. It is always at key times of the day, dinner time, bedtime and when we leave the house in the morning.

I do get cross when my children completely ignore what I say or don’t the eat the lovingly home cooked food they have been given for dinner. My biggest bug bear is when they won’t put their shoes and coat on to go the school run, after being asked three or four times. I often raise my voice to get them to listen to me. 

When I was recounting these basic parenting gripes to a good friend, she gave me a good piece of advice she had picked up from attending a parenting course. “When the parent has lost control, the child has gained it.”

Essentially, my children weren’t consciously being badly behaved they had just got involved in a really good game: hiding behind the sofa with their teddy bears was much more fun than getting to school and nursery on time. They didn’t know that we had to be at school for a certain time. It should be my responsibility to set the boundaries of what is acceptable behaviour and to enforce what I say, without losing my temper.

The only way I can get this to work, when I feel under pressure, is to do everything the night before. I lay out the clothes that the younger ones are going to wear, make their packed lunches and sometimes even set the breakfast table. It is important that they all know what is expected of them. If I state clearly what I need them to do early on in the morning, they are much more likely to do it. But when the phone rings and I am also stacking the dishwasher at the same time, things can go off the rails. Multi-tasking and boundary setting at the same time, is not always easy. 

There are many proponents of positive parenting, who stress that is important to remember to praise our kids for behaving well, instead of criticising them for bad behaviour. This is a great way to enforce the boundaries you have already set. Praise and cuddles often work far better than the ‘naughty step’. Although, taking kids away from a situation when they are being disruptive can be effective too.

When our kids get older, boundaries can also help prevent risky teenage behaviour, such as underage sex, drinking and drug taking. If we teach our children boundaries, they can learn to set their own.

Boundaries and discipline, do go hand in hand. It seems that a successful technique is to pick your battles and not be overly strict. In Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, they dedicate a whole chapter to teen rebellion. According to their research, the best parent and teen relationships are those where parents enforce a few basic rules successfully. The children who have very permissive parents or hundreds of rules to follow, are most likely to lie about what they do.

Boundary setting is not about controlling our kids, it's about helping them learn how to stay within certain limits and not to stray outside for their own safety. Following the crowd is not always the right option and hopefully through firm, loving parenting we can help our children make positive choices for themselves.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

A recent survey by a broadband provider, released to coincide with National Storytelling week, says that 57% of respondents believe bedtime stories are dying out, while 48% of parents admitted they don’t have time to read to their kids. If you have time to check your Blackberry, send an email or update your Facebook status, surely, you have time to read to your children. Even five minutes is better than nothing. All kids love it and it is a great way to connect with your children, if you have been at work all day. If you can’t do it in the evening, because you get in too late, what about five minutes in the morning when they wake up?

In some parts of America, storytelling has had a revival and is helping children with their literacy. Volunteers lead ‘storytelling clubs’ for kids. Clubs like these, encourage kids to read more and enhance their literacy skills. It also helps develop creative thinking: a great idea, in an age when children are more likely to pick up the control for the Wii or PS3, than a book.

So it is great to hear about The Ministry of Stories project, started in Hoxton, in London. It has been set up to inspire children to write and enjoy stories. This initiative is inspired by the successful 826 writing programme in America, the brainchild of novelist, David Eggers.

The Guardian article about the project points out that children and particularly boys, need help with their literacy: while 80% of girls achieved level 4 in writing at Key Stage 2, only 64% of boys did. 

I hope the idea takes off, children and adults need to be reminded that writing and telling stories is fun. Sometimes the constraints of the curriculum in our schools, make writing an onerous task. According to the article, Eggers set up the 826 project, having realised that children don’t get one on one help with English in school. It did so well, that seven more centres were set up across the US and more than 22,000 students have been encouraged to write through the programme.

The plan is for the project to spread outside London, but they need to secure funding for the Ministry of Stories for the next three years. They rely heavily on the support of volunteers and some high profile authors are involved, including Nicky Hornby, Zadie Smith and the former children's laureate, Michael Morpurgo.

Try and think of ways to get your kids excited about stories. One idea is when you are on a long car journey with the kids, turn off the radio, any electronic games or MP3 players and get everyone involved in telling a story. Take turns in telling the story, elaborating on the characters and the setting so everyone gets involved in creating the plot. If that runs out of steam, how about listening to an audio book in the car together? You can all talk about what might happen next.

Or why not get them to make their own books, on the computer or by hand?  The BBC has loads of great story telling games and resources on the CBeebies section of the site. You can also find some on the BBC Class Clips too. 

My parents taught me to love books. I still get excited walking into a bookshop or library. I hope that I will pass that love on to my children - books have inspired me and made me the person I am today. I cannot imagine a life without them.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Find out more about Chris Evans’ short story competition for 13 year-olds and under, on Radio 2.  

There are many celebrity stammerers who, having overcome the condition, can inspire those struggling with speech disorders. Pop Idol’s Gareth Gates, famously overcame his stammer and has now trained in the McGuire method, which helped him control his stammer. BBC Newsround’s Hayley Cutts, also used to stammer and now works as a successful reporter and presenter. Other famous celebrities, reported to have had a stammer, include Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts and Tiger Woods. They have all shown that a speech impediment does not have to interfere with your aspirations.  

The film and recent interviews with Gareth Gates, all touch on the torment of having a stammer and when you are young, bullying can be a real problem at a school. In an interview with BBC Berkshire, the chair of the the British Stammering Association (BSA) said that about 60% of school age children who stammer are bullied. If your child is being bullied because of a speech impediment, check out their school’s anti-bullying policy. Encourage your child to do activities that will give them confidence, such as singing, in which stammering shouldn’t be a problem. This is because you use a different part of the brain to sing.  

However, provision for help with speech therapy for older children and adults is not always available. In a UK survey, carried out by the Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists (RCSLT) in November 2010, of the 159 respondents, 84% had been asked to reduce their services, with cuts of up to 30%. The college has launched a campaign, Giving Voice, to persuade decision-makers to safeguard early screening and guarantee access to therapy for all children who need it. 

My youngest two children are twins and have been having speech therapy, since they were two and a half. They mispronounce consonants mainly ‘s’, ’f’ and ‘th’. It is more common for twins to have speech problems. No one really knows why this is, although experts have come up with lots of different reasons.  The NHS were only able to provide six sessions with a speech therapist and although they benefited greatly from the help of an expert, the hard work really has to be done at home. 

Speech disorders and difficulties are relatively common in this country. According to the charity Talking Point, over one million children have speech language and communication needs. The BSA say that 1% of adults stammer, whilst around 5% of children will suffer from stammering. In general, men are four times more likely to stammer than women. With young children, if you spot signs of any speech problem, the advice is to find a speech and language therapist as soon as possible. 

Last February, the BBC reported a scientific study that identified three genes, which may cause stammering in some people. The BSA welcomed the discovery, saying that it proves the cause behind stammering is physiological. They hope it will help identify the problem earlier in children, as early intervention is key to helping them have fluent speech. 

The good news is that children can grow out of having speech problems, though some may need extra help to improve their speech and language skills. For example, lisping can just be a stage a child goes through, but if the problem persists, you should seek advice. Speakability, the BSA and Talking Point are all organisations that can give advice to the parents of children with speech difficulties. Another good resource is Speech Teach UK.

As I have discovered with my twins, it is worth putting in the effort to overcome speech problems. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing your child grow in confidence, as their speech starts to flow more easily.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Take a look at BBC News Education & Family article - Parents 'wrongly blamed for speech problems'.

Being the eldest of three children, means that I am no stranger to sibling rivalry. I felt a strong sense of responsibility in my family and I often wanted to be in charge of my siblings (which they didn’t really appreciate). I also did not view the birth of my first sister very kindly - there is only eighteen months between us - and when she was a few days old, I used her head as a cushion. When I was ‘helping’ change her nappy, I jabbed a pin into her bottom. 

Whilst I am slightly concerned that I sound like a sociopath in the making, parenting experts say that this kind of emotion is natural, in children who feel threatened by the birth of a sibling. What is key is how we, as parents, handle the behaviour.  Most children react to the arrival of a new baby brother or sister in their lives. The BBC has some good tips for dealing with toddlers and the birth of a new baby. 

Advice from the Family and Parenting Institute is not to compare your children, I am sure many of us still cringe at the parental comparisons that were made about us, when we were young. Instead, they suggest setting each individual child goals and expectations that only relate to them. 

Also, don’t suppress their anger or resentment - allow them to feel the emotion. Discuss it and try and understand their point of view, but explain that they shouldn’t express it through violence or cruelty. 

Try and avoid situations that promote guilt and lastly, wherever possible, let them work out their differences amongst themselves, whilst at the same time be aware that you may have to intervene, if the situation gets out of hand. This will probably only work with older children, with younger ones, you will have to intervene and teach them to problem solve. Try and create a win-win situation, where both children gain something positive. 

At the moment in our household, we are dealing with two three and a half year olds, who say “it’s mine…” a lot and an eight year old who often justifiably says “it’s not fair...” a lot. I often ask the eldest one to share her toys or let her younger sisters have something, to keep the peace.  A family friend once told me a great story about getting a play pen when her second child was born, she used to put her toddler in the pen, so she could draw in peace, while the baby used to crawl around the rest of the room!

I think my twins are clamouring for more time, attention and space. If your children share a room, make sure they have a toy box where they can keep their special things, all children need to express their individuality. We try to maintain their separate identities by encouraging them to wear different clothes and to have individual interests.

We also try and balance out the attention they get, by giving each child some special time with each parent, but that can also be difficult. There are only so many hours in the week and we, as parents, also want time for ourselves. 

All we can do is our best and sometimes, it is letting them decide who gets the pink spoon - this really is a frequent cause for disagreement in our house!

Fighting and arguing is inevitable in all families. Let’s not forget though, that there are some positives that can be taken out of the household warzone. Our children are learning some great life skills - negotiation, sharing, and conflict resolution - all areas of expertise that we need, to become successful adults.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Listen to the BBC Woman’s Hour debate on sibling rivalry.

As we welcome in a new decade, we get time to reflect on what is really important to us, and plan for the coming year.

I have come up with my own three point F plan (don’t worry nothing to do with the 1980s uber-fiber diet). It goes like this  1. spend more time with my family, 2. catch up with friends and 3. have more fun. 

With finances tight in January, we tend to try and do things that are free or cost very little. Meeting friends at the Tate Britian is a firm favourite, you can park for free near the gallery at the weekend and there are always great activities for the kids to do. It is great to see a three year-old sitting before a masterpiece, trying to make their own! They have galleries in Liverpool and St Ives too.

We also  have membership to the National Trust, which means you get free entry to hundreds of places to across the country and most  are re-opening for the February half-term, so that you and your friends, plus the kids can enjoy the full glory of the spring flowers, there is something amazing about seeing the first snowdrops of the year.  

And lastly, when the weather is really bad we have a movie night, we try and pick a film that we will all enjoy, dim the lights, allocate seats and make home made popcorn. All the children love cuddling up on the sofa with us and it is nice to put your feet up for a few hours!

 I think we all believe we can do better, when it comes to our own style of parenting, but  we can learn a lesson from the little people in our lives and just take one day at a time.

I tend to be very task driven and my days are filled with ticking off things that need to be done, laundry, shopping, work, school pick-up, etc. but when I stop and just play with the kids, I remember what I am doing all the running around for!

Many of us have unrealistic expectations about family life and think that we should be some model family that is portrayed in television adverts when in reality life is unruly, noisy and filled with arguments.

Lots of us our recovering from Christmas and for many, it has not been the rosy family event that we imagined.

There are more applications for divorce after the festive season, than any other time of year. Spending time with relatives and family can be hard work.

And as for resolutions, let’s face it, they were made to be broken!  But if you are serious about change and making a lasting difference to family life, sit down and write out a list of small, achievable goals.

There is nothing worse than writing something like ‘I will not shout at the children’ and then find that five minutes later, you are doing that very thing. 

Equally frustrating is making the age old one resolution of ‘I want to lose weight’, only to find that you immediately find yourself finishing off the Roses tin, which only has coffee creams and strawberry creams left in it (and lets face it no one even likes them)!

It is better to write ‘I will count to five before I raise my voice’ or ‘I will only eat one small piece of dark chocolate a day’, than grand statements that are unachievable.

And if your relationship with your other half is struggling, don’t make any rash decisions, take time to reflect on the options open to you. Relate has some good relationship advice and you could always go for counselling, before you make any decisions about your future.

This idea of having a new beginning should give us all hope for a better 2011, just don’t get put off, if you fall off the wagon and dive back in to the coffee creams!

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

But last year, for the first time in 12 years, boys did better in Maths than girls. This was because of the decision to drop coursework entirely from Maths GCSE. Girls stayed at 56.8%, whilst the number of boys getting a grade A to C rose from 55.8% to 57.6%. 

Coursework that had traditionally been done at home, was replaced with ‘controlled assessment’ – coursework completed in exam conditions.

The recent white paper on education also heralds a big change to they way GCSEs and A Levels will be examined. They are going back to a more rigid, exam-based system. They will be less modular, with fewer re-sits allowed and this, educationalists argue, will definitely help the boys.

An article in the Independent, cites a 2009 report by the Higher Education Policy Institute (Hepi) that compared GCSEs with the previous qualification, the O-level, which relied on exam assessment, and pinpointed coursework as a major factor behind boys' lower average grades at GCSE. At O-level, meanwhile, it was girls who traditionally fared worse.

"There is evidence that the introduction of GCSEs, contributed to the deterioration in the relative participation of boys," the report concluded. "There are strong indications that the nature of the GCSE assessment (and the nature of the teaching and curriculum that feed it) is part of the reason for the relatively poor performance of boys." As a result, for 20 years, boys may have been "needlessly achieving less than they might".

Perhaps, a more sensible approach is two have different exams for boys and girls? In the summer, it was reported that an exam board was looking in to creating a science GCSE with coursework in it for girls - one which gave more weighting to exam marks for boys. Some teaching unions have criticised it as gender stereotyping, but as neither girls nor boys will be forced to take a particular type of exam, isn’t it just adjusting the system to suit different pupils learning needs? 

Whilst I am all for more vigorous examinations and a stronger emphasis on grammar and spelling in exams, all things suggested in the White Paper, I also wonder if there is too much emphasis on exams?

As I pointed out in an earlier blog, girls may do better than boys in school, but they still end up being paid less in the workplace. The number of women in highly paid, managerial jobs, and positions of power is also very small. For example, female doctors are still paid 18% less than their male counterparts. 

So, until the gender inequality in our society is sorted out, does it really matter that females are benefiting from a system that is more suited to them than males?

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

A survey by Newsround, found that a quarter of children aged 9 to 11 were going to bed after 10pm, and half said they weren’t getting enough sleep and wanted more. 

Health experts warn that lack of sleep can cause health and behavioural problems in young children. The Sleep Council thinks sleep is so important for children that it should be taught in schools. 

In fact, a sleep charity in Glasgow, has started to give teenagers sleep lessons and it hopes to roll out the project across the rest of Scotland.

And some research points to the fact that children sleep an hour less than they did thirty years ago. They also claim that this ‘lost hour’ has some serious health implications eg poor academic performance and ADHD.

Another study has shown that children aged 12 to 18 years, who went to bed after midnight, are 24% more likely to be depressed.  When our kids are young we are concerned about how early they wake up but by the time they are teenagers, we are worried about how late they sleep in. One school has decided to embrace the night owl lifestyle of teenagers and has changed school hours, so that school starts at 10.00am.

The head sensibly points out that young people in general are naturally late risers. They concentrate better in the afternoon and so he has adapted the school timetable to reflect this. 

It is great to see that schools are coming up with practical solutions for solving some of the difficulties we face with older children, but we also need to educate parents and children about the importance of sleep.

Lack of sleep also has a negative effect on parents. Research has shown that adults who get less than six hours of sleep a night function the same as someone who hasn’t slept for 24 hours.

The first year of having twins seemed to be a blur of feeding, changing and broken sleep. Then they started teething and used to scream from 8pm to around midnight and don’t get me started on when we moved them from their cots into beds…

If you are really struggling with getting enough sleep it is vital to ask for help from friends and family. My neighbours used to take my eldest child to school. They were passing my door, it wasn’t hard for them, but it made a massive difference to my day. You can also suggest taking turns to be on night duty with your partner or husband, so that neither of you go through a prolonged period of time without any sleep. The BBC's Headroom site has some great tips for getting a good night’s sleep. 

With young children, the mantra should be routine - get them to do the same thing every night. Start with a hot bath, a milky drink and a bedtime story. All three of my children love snuggling up in bed reading stories - it’s the perfect end to a busy day. 

Teenagers need to know that they should aim for eight to nine hours sleep a night to function properly, but parents ought to be sympathetic to their wish to go to bed later and get up later whenever possible. Suggest playing a game or encourage them to try reading or listening to quiet music an hour before bed, rather than being glued to TV or games screens and texting. This can really help them wind down and relax properly.

Getting enough sleep can be hard, given the pressures on our lives. But it is worth working on, as there can be big knock-on effects on our children and ourselves, if we don’t.  

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Take a look at the BBC Learning Scotland blog entry 'Make my teenager sleep' by Anne McNaught.

If this is the case, then schools need to educate children about bullying and to stress that not reporting it is helping the bullies. Standing by and watching should not be considered an option. Obviously if an individual feels they themselves are in danger they should find an adult, or teacher that can help them.

I recall vividly watching a child being bullied when I was at primary school. The individual in question was being surrounded by other children, who were chanting insulting things at her in the playground. I am ashamed to say that I knew it was wrong and although I did not join in, I didn’t tell anyone.  I genuinely think that I didn’t know who I should tell or what I should do.

There is a real fear among children, about becoming a victim yourself if you ‘tell’. We had never had a lesson about bullying and what to do if we were bullied or saw someone else being bullied. We used to have dinner ladies that supervised us in the playground and unless physical force was used, they tended to turn a blind eye to verbal abuse.

 

I believe that schools should have a zero tolerance to bullying. Teaching children that it is wrong and how to cope with it, is crucial to managing the problem. Anti-Bullying Alliance has advice on how to manage bullying for children and their parents. Another good website is National Bullying Helpline. One option for a child who doesn’t want to talk to a parent, is to call Childline on 0800 11 11. 

It is also important to deal with the bullies. They often have something going on at home or in their personal life, that is making them behave badly.

ParentlinePlus have  recently joined forces with Bullying UK and take an active role in dealing with bullies and their parents. They just launched a briefing paper ‘Dealing with the Bullies’ which calls for parents of bullies to receive support to tackle their behaviour.

I think most parents would be distraught to be called in to school to be told their child was a bully. Some of these charities offer courses and counselling to parents to help them manage the situation. Parents can feel really isolated when their child’s behaviour is out of control. So this is a vital lifeline for them to get help and meet other people who are struggling with similar issues. 

It is likely that our children will witness bullying in some form or another, whether they are just a witness, being bullied themselves or they are the perpetrator. We need to take responsibility as parents to teach then that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable and if we are struggling, to seek outside help with the situation.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

However, if you were to ask me if it is a fair system, I would have to say no. How can a system that supposedly favours the brightest ten percent of children, ever be fair?

I wasn’t tutored to pass the 11 plus but I do remember doing a practice paper every night in the months coming up to the exams. I was excited about the prospect of going to a grammar school and wanted to do well.

At age 11, you are branded a 'failure' or a 'success'

I was really excited when I learnt I had ‘passed’ but when it transpired that most of my fellow pupils had ‘failed’ the last few weeks at school were strained and I wasn’t so popular with my peers.

And I think this is the main problem.  At age 11,  you are branded a ‘failure’ or a ‘success’.  Despite our school saying that it was just a selection process we all knew it was ‘pass’ or ‘fail’. Children learn at different rates and some children who don’t pass the 11 plus are incredibly bright.

Being deemed a failure at age 11 cannot be good for a child’s confidence and it also means that you are destined to go to a school that is not as good as a grammar school.

Equally children who are tutored for years to get into a grammar school may also find that they struggle once they start there.

The whole idea that a bright child from a less privileged background can get a good education through the grammar system is flawed. The wealthy middle classes tutor their children to ensure that  they get into the best grammar schools, meaning that a poorer bright child who can’t afford tuition, could lose out on a place.

In this article in the Guardian at the beginning of the year, Peter Mortimore, a former director of the Institute of Education, says that grammar schools are fundamentally unfair:

“…Popular with parents who can afford years of coaching for their children's entrance tests, it underpins a hierarchy of status, promotes snobbery and prevents many schools from gaining a fair share of able pupils. Surely it should have no place in a country wrestling with so many other inequalities?”

He suggests that we capitalize on the success of grammar schools, rather than getting rid of them altogether and turn them into centres of A-level excellence - a sixth form college that can benefit all pupils in the education system.

Interestingly, it is not just grammar schools that are failing disadvantaged children. Top comprehensive schools take even less children from deprived income homes than grammar schools, according to a study commissioned by the Sutton Trust earlier this year. 

The report argues that selection by ballot is the only fair way to allocate places to children, but this is not popular with parents or politicians. Most areas that have grammar schools value them highly. I think it may be some time before they are completely abolished. But it is also sad that in the 21st century, a child’s educational chances can still be diminished by their economic background.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Having a child who is nearly eight myself made me really empathise with the parents and children in Britain’s Youngest Boarders.

It really struck me how young they were and watching Luke choosing what soft toy to bring to school with him made him look very young and vulnerable.

The parents of these young boys all think they are giving their children the best opportunity they can in life and that being self reliant and away from home is character forming. They believe the experience will make their children confident, academically successful and give them a good chance of getting in to Britain’s top public schools, like Eton and Harrow.

As a parent, I personally could not send my child away to school at such a young age and if you asked my husband and father, they would agree. My husband went to boarding school at the age of 11 and found it very tough and my father’s experience of boarding school was incredibly traumatic. 

However, my husband’s parents were faced with a difficult dilemma. Like the family of one of the boys featured in the programme, his father was in the forces and he had been to eight different schools by the age of 11. His parents felt his education was suffering and sent him to board, so he would have some continuity in his education. This was illustrated by the mother interviewed, whose husband was also in the forces -  they had moved house seven times in 12 years.

Luke, Louis and Dominic starting their first term at Sunningdale Prep School in Berkshire

In the Daily Mail review of this programme, they cite Nick Duffell, author of The Making of Them and founder of the organisation, Boarding School Survivors. He says boarders develop a “strategic survival” personality. Outside they are competent and confident. Inside they are private and insecure and are unable to bond or form full relationships with others. They are always on guard and grow to despise weakness in others because they were never allowed to show it themselves”.

Whilst  this cannot be said of everyone who is sent away to school, I believe it must affect the children psychologically in some way.

As the lovely bright and gifted Dominic said on his first night away from home, “I figure I shouldn’t cry, to make my Dad proud”.

Is bottling up feelings at the age of 11 or indeed eight a good idea? Surely having to survive without your parents at such a young age will have an effect on a child’s emotional development?

The fact still remains though that even today, for some families boarding school is the only option: for instance, if the parents are working abroad or in remote places, moving house frequently or for the child of divorced parents where there are strains with the stepfamily.

There are no easy answers to this situation, being sent to boarding school, is still considered a great privilege and as long as people’s ideas about what is best for their children stay the same, not much is going to change.

But if you asked two of the most important men in my life whether they would send their own children to school their answer would be categorically “no” and they have experienced boarding school first hand.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Find out more about the programme Britain’s Youngest Boarders, part of the BBC Two’s School Season. 

For information about state funded boarding schools, go to the website of the State Boarding Schools' Association.

Statistically boys don’t lag very far behind the girls when it comes to A Level results and it is well documented that men still get paid more than women.

Clearly in primary school there is a problem engaging boys and I wonder is this because kids are having  ideas about gender imposed  on them or do they really have different needs?

Choirmaster Gareth Malone teaches in a primary school in Essex for one term. This time he faces a new mission: to get the boys reading.

A recent study reported in the Guardian says that girls as young as four, believe they are smarter than boys.  The academics in the study believed that gender stereotyping was a major factor in formulating their beliefs.

It  also doesn’t help that primary school education is dominated by female teachers and that many people believe that the work set has a female bias, as indicated in this article in BBC News Education & Family.  Getting more male teachers, seems a good starting point but maybe they're put off by lower salaries.

Whilst I applaud Gareth for trying to engage these disinterested kids, I have to ask, what were the girls doing whilst the boys played in the woods? 

Are boys and girls really so different? Wouldn’t the whole class have benefited from outdoor activities and competition? Perhaps if they had worked together in the World Cup reading teams, perhaps the imposed gender differences on the children could have been dissipated, rather than enforced.

Surely we need to move away from such cultural determinism and find teaching methods that encourage all children to engage with books and literacy.  Books are for everyone not just ‘girls’ or ‘boys’.

One of the other elements of the programme I found most interesting were his efforts to engage the parents, clearly, it is their input that can make the biggest difference of all.

Teachers can do all they can in school but if parents allow their children’s love affair with computer games to prevent them from doing their homework, then there is not much the educators can do. 

A recent survey reported on BBC News said that kids were spending six hours a day in front of screens, half of this time was in front of a computer or a games console. Perhaps we as parents need to be re-educated on how to engage our children and not to use the television, games and computers as virtual babysitters?

Whilst Gareth only had a short period of time to improve the children’s academic performance he certainly showed that our teachers have their work cut out.

They sadly do not have the freedom that the Gareth was given to try and engage and cajole our kids into understanding the importance of literacy.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.

Listen to the Woman's Hour podcast  - Raising Boys about how to get  boys  back on track.

The Big School Lottery programme offers an insight into one of the most important and stressful decisions a family can make - which secondary school to send their child to.

I must put in the caveat that I most definitely rank among the middle classes and have chosen a house that is in a good catchment area for a secondary school. And being in the catchment area for a good state school would certainly remain at the top of my list when house hunting. I feel extremely fortunate to be in that position and who wouldn't do the same for their children if they could?

But I am also interested in other systems for selecting school places that are fairer and read with interest about the Brighton and Hove lottery system for school places when it was announced two years ago. However, I was disappointed to learn last week that the experiment had not worked. According to the report, it did not help more disadvantaged students; it wasn't really a lottery system and was still predominately based on catchment areas with only spare places being put in a lottery system for students. 

I came from a family that firmly believed in choosing a school that suited each child, which meant that I went to grammar school, my sister to a comprehensive and my youngest sister to an independent school. My sisters were both moved from schools my parents tried and found weren't suitable for them. Sadly that option isn't open to everyone.

Proponents of grammar schools would say that those who are poor but academically gifted would get a chance to go to a good school but it was clear from the programme that where you live can seriously limit your choice and potentially your child's future.

When I look at my eldest I wonder if we should we tutor her to try and get in to a grammar school. She is bright but loves dancing, drawing and many other activities. If we stretched her academically to get in to such a school, would she struggle once she got there? Could this damage her self-esteem? Would it not be better to send her to the local comprehensive where she can excel in subjects like dance but also be streamed in subjects she finds challenging. Should she go to the all girls comprehensive in our catchment? Or the mixed co-ed school, to be more balanced socially?

These sorts of questions are being asked by parents across the country but if education is only determined really by where you live, how much money you earn or how bright you are - what are the choices left for all the other children who don't have these privileges?

Education is changing and the government announced 16 free schools on Monday, the question remains how will the places in these new schools be allocated?

According to a recent Daily Telegraph article many top comprehensives are even more selective than grammar schools, also favouring the middle classes. It cites a report by the charity the Sutton Trust that claims the only fair way to select children for new schools is by random ballots to stop them being dominated by children from middle class families.

But also suggests it could be in "conjunction with other criteria, for example ability, faith or location". Isn't this what they tried to do Brighton and Hove?

Perhaps the only true egalitarian thing to do is to try and improve all our existing schools, rather than diverting time, money and attention away from the education system we already have.

Claire Winter is a member of the BBC Parent Panel.  

The Big School Lottery continues on Wednesday, 8 September at 9pm on BBC Two.